A while back, a shift into higher consciousness occurred.
This changed everything in my business, as I wrote one year ago.
At the same time, life went on as usual.
Still, MANY things changed in the past year. I’ll share some changes and challenges in two separate blogs.
Let’s start with the challenges.
#1 Relationships and connecting with others
For a while, I had NO clue what to talk about with others. My perspective on our true nature, life, and pretty much everything I used to believe drastically changed—and is drastically different from that of people around me.
It felt like we came from different planets with different languages, different customs, and different realities.
For a while, I didn’t know how to relate to most others or what to talk about. I even sometimes felt this way with close friends.
(I also knew it would work out somehow. Which it did. I no longer wonder what to talk about—words show up, or they don’t, and it’s all good. I even don’t mind making small talk anymore, something I used to detest before. 😉
How this changed? The same way everything changed: by BEING with and noticing everything that IS.)
Writing had always been my passion and my creative outlet. I loved capturing my inner and outer world in words.
There was SO much I wanted to write about: everything that changed. My new perspectives. What I (un)learned and realized.
But the words weren’t there.
Nothing I wrote came even remotely close to what I wanted to express.
I missed writing.
(The words are back now. For a while or forever, who knows? I don’t think about that anymore.
What I did to get back into writing and find ways to describe the indescribable? Nothing. I just let all feelings BE, including frustration, the desire to write, and irritation at not being able to.
Everything solves itself. Or not, and sooner or later you’ll find peace in that, too.)
This actually started a couple of years before. I’d always had strong desires for my business and work. I wanted to help people, make a difference, have impact!
I wanted to build an empire so I could reach as many people as possible.
But slowly, since around 2019, the dreams I had for my business started to fade. Until they completely disappeared.
I had no more vision. No more mission.
I was no longer interested in building an empire or impacting as many people as possible.
I still had projects that I really enjoyed, like writing and publishing my books and creating some online programs.
That came to a standstill, too.
On top of that, most of the actions I used to take for my business dried up as well.
My days often felt empty. It wasn’t that I wanted to do more. I just wanted to feel different: more joyful. More fulfilled. More whatever.
(My schedule and days are still pretty empty, but it no longer feelsempty. My life slowed down and became even easier and more peaceful.
There’s an aliveness and joy that popped up from underneath all the unnecessary thinking and doing that used to fill my life.
Not that I was busy before, but still, SO much more freedom and ease were unveiled this year!)
All the feelings showed up too, this year.
Anger, impatience, frustration, grief, fear, doubt, annoyance—you name it, it passed by this year. 😉
That’s okay. I just watch it come and go. Now, I can sense ease and peace underneath inner turmoil. Emotions, thoughts and feelings come and go. Ease and peace are always what is.
In the next blog, part 2, I’ll go over some (major) changes I noticed this year. You can read that blog here.