If you desire more freedom, here’s the first thing you can free yourself of right here, right now:

Release the ‘shoulds’.

Let go of things you think you should do, because…

👉…everyone else does it. (So what? That’s their business, not yours.)

👉…others expect (or even pressure) you to do it. (Their expectations are their responsibility, not your command.)

👉…this is just how things are done. (So? That doesn’t mean there aren’t any other ways.)

Or whatever other reason you have that does not light you up and comes from some form of fear or lack:

  • Fear of what others might think, do, or say.
  • Fear of being wrong or missing out.
  • Fear of standing out or being criticized.
  • Fear of failure.
  • Fear of being true to yourself.

What feels like a ‘should’ right now?

What if you didn’t do it?

Don’t focus on what could go wrong.

Open the door to what could go RIGHT.

I remember the first time I said a hard ‘no’ when I was 11, about to turn 12, and didn’t want the house to be filled with family when I came home from school. I told my mother I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday and she said okay, but you have to let everyone know yourself.

So I went to the attic to make those dreaded calls in private.

I was sweating bullets calling aunt after aunt, telling each of them I no longer wanted to celebrate my birthday, and—for extra super clarity—added that this also meant I did NOT want them to come over.

Shit, that was stressful.

But the relief it brought to have a quiet birthday was worth it a gazillion times over!

(And I still don’t celebrate my birthdays. 😉 )

To letting go of ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ and being true to YOU,



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