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Should I do more?
Should I do something different?
These types of questions used to plague me frequently.
Yes, I always did business my own way, on my own terms.
AND … underneath confidently carving my own path ran an undercurrent of self-doubt, installed there by productivity culture and a deep doubt if I was good enough, worthy enough.
An undercurrent that didn’t just run through me.
It runs through 99,99% of all my clients and, quite possibly, through you.
No matter how much you do, you always wonder if it’s truly enough.
If it’s truly the right thing.
Shouldn’t you be on TikTok by now?
Shouldn’t your sales page be sharper?
Shouldn’t you be doing something—anything—more?
Thoughts like these eat away at your peace, leaving no room to enjoy what IS.
On the contrary: these thoughts constantly tell you that what you are, what you have, and what you do are wrong, and not enough.
That YOU are wrong and not enough.
These thoughts tell you that this moment, as it is, should be different.
That’s a losing battle.
This moment already IS and, for that reason, has no other way to be than the way it is.
You can argue with that, sure.
But it’s a fight you’re guaranteed to lose.
These thoughts still pop up at times, but now, they barely register.
Should I post my blogs on Medium, too? (Nah. Don’t resonate with its overall vibe.)
Should I reignite my LinkedIn account? (Nah. Don’t feel it’s the place for me to be. Yet or ever.)
But here’s the big difference with before:
Now, I don’t entertain these questions at all.
I don’t take them seriously.
They’re just fleeting thoughts of no importance.
If and when there’s something for me to do, I will know.
How?
I’m doing it.
No debating, no figuring out, just a quiet, invisible, undetected knowing that transformed itself into acting without the mind playing any role in that at all.
There’s no persuading, motivating, or bargaining myself into doing something.
Whatever I’m doing just happens.
Do I still wonder if I’m good enough?
Oh, I’m not sure that wound has completely healed yet.
That’s okay.
This, too, is, at its core, a fleeting thought, a story.
A story that once carried real emotion.
Those feelings are long gone.
What’s left are traces of automated thoughts that pop up every now and then.
I simply watch them come and go without engaging, without suppressing, without avoiding them.
Next time a should-I? comes up for you, watch it come. Watch it go.
Don’t engage. Don’t avoid. Don’t suppress.
If and when there’s something for you to do, you’ll know.
You’ll be doing it.
Love,
P.S.: If my words resonate, my work might too.
You’ll find ways to go deeper here.
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