You know how you see some people and think: we could be BEST friends for sure!
I feel like Jennifer Lawrence and I could be best friends, for example. Or Amy Poehler and I.
Not that I know anything that truly matters about either of them. They might secretly torture puppies and steal toilet paper from their local grocery store for all I know.
It’s purely based on a vibe I get when I see how they answer a question or crack a joke. (When you’re someone I can laugh my ass off with, you’ve already won me two-thirds over.)
That same vibe-thing plays a role in business, too. Someone can be the BEST health coach in the entire world, but if their personality stinks you’re not going to closely work with them for a year. At least, I wouldn’t.
That’s not an argument to have a personality transplant so you’ll be liked by every person who could possibly hire you.
On the contrary!
It’s an argument to let your true self shine bright like a brand-new porcelain toilet bowl.
When I read a bit in my very first book ‘Ontdek wat je echt wilt – en maak daar (je) werk van’, I cringe a little on the inside. I can see how I was people-pleasing and trying to not rock the boat. Which is very un-me. (If you know me, you know I like to rock a boat or two.)
I can also see how I was making myself smaller.
Exhausting.
I dropped that more and more over the years. And even though I’ve always been true to myself in my writing and how I present myself, somehow I’m getting looser and looser still. (Oh god, where will it end?!)
And you know what’s weird about all this?
If you’ve been around for a while, you know that three and a half years ago I went through quite a radical shift. I stopped taking my thoughts so seriously and became fascinated by what existed underneath them.
And I stumbled into something much stranger than I’d expected: the separate “me” I’d believed in my whole life wasn’t actually there in the way I thought.
But even weirder still …
You’d think that finding out you’re not the separate person you thought you were would somehow wash out your personality, or turn you into a uniform peaced-out standardized human being.
Well, that’s what I thought anyway.
I thought the sharper edges of my personality might round out a bit. I wondered if I’d still like thrillers and politically incorrect jokes.
I thought I’d cease to exist or become a boring zen-parsnip. Or Zenned-out like someone who’s just smoked the best weed of their life.
I’d no longer get annoyed about the smallest things and find a deep love for all creatures great and small, including mosquitos and serial killers.
Hahahaaa!
Turns out that realizing I’m not a separate human being, but an expression of the same awareness experiencing all of life … only brought out MORE of my personality.
Go figure.
Over to you now(How’s that for an abrupt shift?)
I’m curious:
Who would you be best friends with, if only they knew you existed?
Love,
P.S. Amy, if you read this, hi!
Where can I apply for the position of your new best friend?
I’m not super low maintenance but I probably won’t steal your toilet paper.
P.P.S. Liked this blog?
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