“I don’t get it,” she said. “I know exactly how I’m getting in my own way. I know my strengths and how to best use them. I know my weaknesses and how to turn them into strengths. But am I doing this? NO! I keep getting the same insights … and nothing ever changes. WHY? What’s wrong with me?!”
“Nothing.” I said. “And why this happens?
Because old conditioning is stronger than insights.
Because auto-pilot behavior can kick in when you’re tense or tired.
Or because the nervous system can send out trigger warnings long after it’s necessary.”
She looked relieved.
Phew! It wasn’t her fault.
Then she frowned and said:
“Okaaaayyyyy … but … how do I change it?
How do I get myself to just do what I know is right every time?”
I looked at her.
And said nothing.
She looked back.
Expectant.
Then confused.
Then annoyed.
Then angry.
All emotions flashed over her face in seconds.
“I don’t like this!” she said.
I saw her squirming without moving.
“I know,” I said.
“But can you stay here a little longer anyway?
Just a little longer.
I’ll stay here with you.”
Reluctantly, she nodded.
I kept looking at her.
At everything she was going through.
And saw all of her.
The little twitch of her eye.
The breath becoming shallower.
The little muscle in her jaw clenching without her knowing it.
She was still uncomfortable.
And still said nothing to take her discomfort away.
I stayed.
And, with mixed feelings, so did she.
I looked at her.
She looked at me.
And suddenly.
Out of nowhere.
She sighed.
Her shoulders dropped.
Her whole body softened.
Opened.
We stayed with everything that wanted to be seen.
At the end of the call, she felt two tons lighter.
She’d spent years making herself wrong for not doing what she knew.
And just like that, it dropped.
Love,
P.S. If there’s something in your way that won’t budge — it can drop on its own.
That’s what happens in private coaching.
P.P.S. Liked this blog?
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