You finally ended your marriage.
Fired your assistant.
Or made an appointment to get that purple dragon tattoo.
When the decision was clear, you felt relieved.
You dropped 15 pounds in 1 second.
This will change everything!
Life will be so much better from now on!
The next day, doubts creep in.
Your partner is actually kind of sweet.
What if you never find anyone better?
Your assistant might badmouth you behind your back.
What if you should just give her another chance?
And should that dragon really be purple and placed on your lower back?
You don’t know what to do.
Recall your decisions?
Think or talk them through for the billionth time?
And how the hell can something feel so good one moment, and feel like the worst thing you’ve done since that perm you had at 16?!
You’re not wishy-washy.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
What happened is that the mind is doing the job it was created for:
Checking to see if you’re safe.
Checking if there’s any feedback from the outer world yet that proves you did the right thing.
And that proof isn’t here yet.
You’re in that damn gap between making a change, and not seeing results.
You may want to find ways to jump over this gap or fix the discomfort. (Is that a bottle of wine you hear calling your name?)
Before you do anything: relax.
There’s no problem.
There’s nothing to fix.
Nothing is wrong.
The mind is just doing its thing.
One moment, a decision came through and it felt good.
The next, a doubt came up and it felt bad.
This isn’t a problem to solve.
It’s just what’s here now, like your sun tan.
Instead of thinking yourself crazy, shift your attention to the very thing you want to avoid: the discomfort.
Where do you feel it?
What’s its texture?
Stay with it.
Don’t run from it.
Don’t try to drown it in chocolate, wine, or all seasons of The Big Bang Theory.
Just … stay.
And suddenly, between that third cup of coffee you somehow made and unloading the dishwasher, you realize you haven’t thought about it in 43 minutes.
The mind moved on.
It always does.
You didn’t need to fix it.
You didn’t need to do a single thing.
Love,
P.S. If you read this and think: yes, but I still need to stay on top of my mind or everything falls apart—
that’s the thing. You don’t.
That’s what becomes clear in private coaching.
P.P.S. Liked this blog?
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