Your client cancels.
Your friend, too.
And unexpectedly, you have the whole. Day. To. Your. Self.
Hallelujah!
This is what you wanted for so, so long!
Woohoo!!
Now you have time for all the things you never have time for!
Like …
Deep cleaning the kitchen cabinets!
Or, no.
This is not the time for boring chores.
This is you-time!
Maybe a walk on the beach?
Meh. Maybe not.
Binge a show?
Nah.
You settle down with a book.
You can’t concentrate.
You feel restless after 3 seconds.
Shit!
One hour gone already!
And you haven’t enjoyed a single second of it yet!
This is YOUR time.
You should make the most of it.
Enjoy the hell out of it before the day is over and normal life returns.
Who knows how long it will be before you have a whole, WHOLE!, day to do whatever the fuck you want?
This is not how you expected unexpected free time to feel.
You thought you’d feel Liberated.
You’d dance through the day like what’s her name in what’s that movie.
Instead you feel stressed.
Tense.
Pressured.
Bored.
Two hours gone already.
You eat some lunch.
Sit down to read and manage to concentrate for 2 whole minutes.
You take a quick walk and manage to be present for 3 steps before you start to wonder what to do next.
You come back and drink tea.
That kills some time.
You scroll around on your phone.
Get sucked into a stream of videos on peri-menopause.
Pick up a thing or two you didn’t know yet.
Take notes of supplements to buy.
Vow to take up strength training.
You look up.
Two hours left before dinner.
Fuck!
The whole day slipped through your fingers like …
Whatever, the day’s almost over!
You didn’t enjoy it.
Weren’t even productive.
You wasted precious time and have nothing, NOTHING, to show for it!
With clenched jaws and angry movements, you deep clean half a kitchen cabinet.
Feel dissatisfied.
Guilty.
Couldn’t even finish that stupid chore that’s been on your mental to-do list (not to be confused with one of the actual written ones in your phone) for 8 months already.
Couldn’t even read a book.
Couldn’t even enjoy the unexpected time off.
(Why didn’t you just go the beach???)
You don’t want to be as busy as you are.
You want more you-time.
Really.
But not like this.
You start a new list.
Put ‘Things to do that I enjoy’ on top.
Think.
Chew on your nails.
Wrinkle your forehead.
Put ‘come up with things I like to do’ on your mental to-do list.
Start making dinner.
And you’re secretly happy that this promising and oh so disappointing day is almost over.
(And then feel guilty about that.)
Love,
P.S. You didn’t waste the day.
You just forgot what to do when there’s nothing to do.
Because you were never told it was okay to just be.
That guilt and pressure around productivity drop in private coaching.
P.P.S. Liked this blog?
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