“If this is it, it’s not good enough,” a client once told me when I asked what made her reach out to work with me.
“It looks like I have everything, but it doesn’t feel like that to me. On the outside, my life looks great, but on the inside? It feels like I have to work hard to keep everything together. I worry a lot. I have all these things I want to change, like eat healthier or finally figure out the best business model for me, but I never get to it somehow. Or I start and stop. And then I feel guilty for not being committed enough. And for wanting more when my life is already so good and so many people are suffering.
But if I’m really honest with myself and look at my life, I wouldn’t want it to stay like this forever. If this is it, it’s not good enough. I want to feel more relaxed, and happy, and stress-free. I don’t want to feel like I always have to be productive and spend my time wisely. I want to feel the wind in my hair and laugh and be care-free. I want life to be lighter. But I don’t know how.“
I could relate to her story. I, too, felt like life could be lighter. And it felt weird to want that, because my life was pretty light already—especially compared to that of millions of others.
Now I see that wanting life to be lighter, easier and care-free is not an egotistical desire.
It’s life itself whispering that life CAN be so much lighter, easier, and care-free.
But you won’t find it by buying a new car, getting a promotion, hiring an assistant, treating yourself to a spa day or losing weight.
Yes, this can light you up. But it’s always temporary. Because underneath, your beliefs and assumptions about life and yourself are still the same.
You still believe you have to work for what you want. That you need to control the unpredictable. That you must make the most of your life. And numerous other beliefs that keep you on your toes, doubting yourself, creating a layer of background tension that colors your days.
You can’t claw your way to a lighter life.
Paradoxically, you only find it once you drop your efforts to create it.
When you stop looking at how you’d want life to be, and look at what’s actually here in this moment.
And maybe you’ll find that if this is it, it’s already more than good enough.
Love,
P.S. This is the work I do with clients: helping them opt out of the inner circus and discover the lightness that’s already here.
If this speaks to you and you’re curious about working together, you can read more here.
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