Questions don’t need answers.
We think they do. Why else would you ask them?
But mainly: we think we need answers.
We need clarity.
Because not-knowing feels uncomfortable. Unsafe, even.
Without answers, how can you move forward?
Without answers, how can you heal?
Without answers, how can you solve problems?
Without answers …
All that’s there is an itch of discomfort.
Not-knowing rattles the cage we built to keep ourselves safe and secure. A cage built of ideas, like that we can influence what happens. Like that we have some say about our lives when so much in the world is clearly out of our control.
So when a question comes up, like:
How do I get there?
How can I solve this?
What should I do?
We automatically start scrambling for answers.
It’s what we’re conditioned to do from a very young age.
“I don’t know” wasn’t always an acceptable answer. “I don’t know” meant that you didn’t study hard enough. Wasn’t smart enough. Didn’t apply yourself enough. That you were lazy, uncaring, or uncommitted.
“I don’t know” was a nudge to start seeking answers, clarity, insights, formulas, solutions, plans.
“I don’t know” was never just a thought that meant nothing.
It was never neutral.
It was never seen as an invitation to simply notice:
Ah. Here’s something I don’t know.
Ah. Here’s how that makes me feel.
Ah. Here’s where that shows up in the body.
I see. I let it be.
But when you leave it open …
When you allow not-knowing to be empty …
You’ll see that sooner or later, the answer you need comes to you out of the blue.
Or sometimes, the question falls away.
The need to know dissolves.
This is why ideas come in the shower—you weren’t thinking.
That’s why answers and decisions show up out of nowhere—you weren’t thinking about the questions.
You’ve experienced this many times.
You’ve had great ideas while shampooing your hair.
You’ve known things without knowing how you knew them.
But the conditioning to find answers and the belief that you need them, or else something bad happens, runs deep.
So each time a question arises or a choice shows up, you scramble for answers.
And as long as they’re not there, you feel stuck. Uncertain. Uncomfortable.
But what if not-knowing isn’t a problem to solve, but just …
Not knowing?
Love,
P.S. If you feel like something’s missing but you’re not sure how to find it, private coaching might be for you.
Inner pressure dissolves and life (and work) feels lighter, easier.
P.P.S. Liked this blog?
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