Last Monday, Arjen and I drove around as it was getting dark. He drove and paid attention to traffic. I didn’t have to, so I could immerse myself in the joy of looking at the lights in and on houses, trees, and hedges.
I don’t care about Christmas one way or the other. But I LOVE this time of year. Waking up when it’s still dark. The sun setting early. Twinkling lights everywhere. And darkness. And candles. I love it all.
And suddenly I remembered something that I thought was a ‘real’ thing, but that’s apparently made up by someone in my family:
Schemeren, in Dutch. Dusking, in English.
No, not the usual meaning of it getting dark outside.
But as a verb: ik zit te schemeren. I’m dusking. Meaning, to sit in a room, watching it get dark out- and inside. No lights, except maybe a candle, or some twinkly lights.
And you just sit. You’re just being. Watching the daylight fade and dark arrive, slowly at first, and suddenly, it’s dark.
And you breathe. The mind wanders, or not. Maybe you sigh. Take a sip of tea. Maybe there’s unrest or joy, hope or despair, or nothing specific. You just are.
You’re just dusking.
Nowadays, most of us are always ‘on’. One activity flows into the other without a pause. And even when you pause, you’re busy chasing one thought after the other.
And when it gets dark, you turn on the lights. No space for the in-between, the no-longer-light yet not-quite-dark. No space to just breathe. Just be. Just dusk.
Maybe one of these days, you’ll find a moment to sit, and breathe, and let everything be as it is. Not chasing anything. Not having any other purpose than being, as you are, seeing everything as it is. If only for a moment.
And when someone asks you what you’re doing, you can tell them:
“Oh, ik zit gewoon even lekker te schemeren.”
I’m just dusking.
Love,
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