You look at your schedule to prepare for the month ahead and see “July: reflect on status goals.”
And so you do.
You look back at the first half and perhaps you’re satisfied. Looking forward to all the good stuff still to come!
But perhaps you’re frustrated. You didn’t stick to your plan. Didn’t achieve your goals. (Stopped going to the gym.)
Now what?
You think: Summer is a time to reset. Just adjust and roll with it! There’s still hope! I can still quadruple my income!
I can make a commitment to myself:
This second half will be better.
I will be better. Woohoo!
You successfully talked yourself out of a frustrating funk. You can go on vacation feeling good about yourself, because when you’re back?
Everything will be different!
(And if, at the end of the year, you’re still not really where you wanted to be? You go through this whole song and dance again. Woohoo!)
I’m not making fun of you.
What I described was me,
years ago.
Hyping myself up on the regular.
Never feeling like I finally arrived.
Always striving.
Sometimes meeting or surpassing goals, sure.
But it never took long for restlessness
and a feeling that it was still not enough
arose again.
I was sick of it.
I was done.
Done wondering what was wrong with me.
Done wondering how to get out of myself what I was sure was in there.
Done seeking, fixing, improving, growing, changing.
DONE.
Now, none of this bothers me anymore.
The only reason I’m reminded this was once my reality,
is seeing these woohoo! or boohoo posts on LinkedIn.
And I remember:
Oh, right.
This time of year was always the time when I reflected, too.
Feeling happy or sad about my progress (or lack thereof.)
But it was never peaceful.
I felt never peaceful.
Not really.
Not deeply.
Because there was always more to reach for.
Because I never felt like I arrived.
And after years of all that seeking and striving,
hopping from one course, one coach,
one self-improvement book to the next,
I no longer saw the appeal in it.
How the fuck was I ever going to experience
that deep feeling that I could rest,
finally,
in myself?
That freedom that doesn’t depend on anything or anyone?
That inner peace that’s just there, always, no matter what happens?
That security of knowing I’d always be okay?
And a business that just felt … effortless?
I’d tried SO many tools, techniques, modalities.
I could of course look for the next one.
Hope that this would be the golden ticket to the promised land—
again.
Or …
Life had different plans.
(I didn’t fully realize back then that all plans were always life’s.
Never mine.)
Life took me on a path that’s not a path and yet …
It brought me from that person who was always working towards a better future,
a better business,
a better me,
to finally having found that inner peace,
that ultimate freedom, no matter what—
including in times when shit hits the fan.
There was no mindset work.
No visualizing.
No quantum leaping,
law of attraction,
or fancy manifesting tricks.
No bright new tool I hadn’t tried yet.
It was, in fact, the opposite of that.
It was no longer doing mindset work.
No longer looking at what I thought,
but at where those thoughts came from:
That unexplainable out-of-the-blue space we all know but can’t find.
That inner space of stillness that’s somehow quiet even when the neighbors blast heavy metal all afternoon.
Somehow this simple act of changing focus changed everything.
Once I left my thoughts alone and let them wander around on their own, they somehow just … left. Took their annoying siblings with them.
And what they left behind was what I always looked for.
Love,
P.S. This is the shift I support my private clients in.
Read more about private coaching here.
P.P.S.: Liked this blog?
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