Being nice is the curse of most women. It’s what keeps us doing things we don’t want to do. It prevents us from speaking out and being true to ourselves. It’s what keeps us small and caged.

Even though I’m outspoken and strong-willed and have always been that way, I had to let go of the conditioning and pressure of being nice, too. It’s okay to be nice, of course—IF that is what’s true for you in that moment. But PLAYING nice, at your own cost, doesn’t serve you.  

Thousands of years (and ongoing!!) conditioning and societal expectations around women’s behavior have ingrained the pressure of ‘being nice’ in every woman. If you’re not nice, you can be criticized. If you don’t smile enough or aren’t nice enough, you can miss out on promotions at work, business opportunities, or getting hired. (Yep, for real. Look it up. There’s research to back this up.)

In working with my clients, the downsides of playing nice are almost always a topic: not speaking up, minimizing yourself and your dreams, not feeling worthy, having trouble saying no, being afraid to make yourself visible, etc. You often have to peel off some layers of conditioned ‘niceness’ for you to return to your inherent power and who you really are.

This morning, I listened to an interview with Kemi Nekvapil about her book Power. She talked about the conditioning to be nice and said something that really resonated with me:

“I’m more interested now in being a fully expressed woman than being a nice girl.”

Letting go of playing nice can trigger insecurities and fears.

When you’re about to do something that scares you, it helps to focus on what you stand to gain by doing it anyway.

This quote shows you a beautiful perspective on the benefits of being true to yourself and to stop playing nice.

⭐️Where do you play nice at your own expense?

⭐️Where do you say yes when you want to say no?

⭐️Where do you minimize yourself or your dreams, or apologize for what you want or who you are?

It’s okay to stop playing nice. Be respectful and kind—as long as you’re kind and respectful to yourself first. When you treat yourself with love and respect, you automatically treat others that way, too.

If you find it hard to say no, prioritize your needs, or you’re afraid to be true to yourself, my book ‘The Art of Divine Selfishness – transform your life, your business & the world by putting YOU first’ is for you!

Or work with me 1-1 to be true to yourself and create the business and life of your dreams, in your own way, on your own terms.



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