“No pain, no gain.”

I bet you know that expression. It represents a way of thinking that’s ingrained into our society and with that, into us.

It tells us that you need to suffer or struggle to get what you want. It tells us that without suffering at least a bit, your result is less valuable.

The expression is closely related to this one that’s just as harmful: easy come, easy go.

That expression tells us that we’ll lose the things we didn’t hurt or fought for.

We’re taught to believe that getting what you want requires struggling, suffering and feeling uncomfortable along the way.

As a result, you can unconsciously block receiving the things you desire. Because your unconsciousness thinks: if you can only get what you want when you suffer for it, this means that when I go for my dream, I ALSO invite some unknown suffering into my life.

And who knows how painful that will be? No, thank you very much—I think I’ll stay where I am. My life is perfectly tolerable and good enough as it is. Let’s close the door to our dreams because that keeps the door to more suffering closed, too!

The truth is, that you DON’T have to suffer to get what you want.

You DON’T have to hurt to receive or achieve something worthwhile. You DON’T easily and automatically lose what came to you with ease.

Look back at your life. Look at the things you received or achieved with ease or that appeared for you like magic. Did you lose them ALL again shortly after you got them?

Did you enjoy it any less because you didn’t suffer for it?

It was super easy for me to ‘find’* Arjen, my partner, for example. We met at a party, instantly hit it off, and have been super happy with each other for almost 20 years now—still going strong. Stronger and happier than ever, even.

(*It’s not really finding because I wasn’t looking. We met and that was that.)

So many things in my life flowed to me like magic … once I STOPPED striving and pushing to get it.

Getting what you want doesn’t have to be hard. You don’t have to suffer for it.

Stop buying into the stories that tell you that you need to suffer and hurt to get what you want. They’re not true.

 

Love,

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