I’m in this strange mood where on the one hand, I have lots of ideas I can implement and things I’d like to do.
And on the other hand, I can’t be arsed with any of it.
I used to feel this deep drive, a deep passion for my message and my work.
But since, I don’t know, a year and a half? Two years? It feels like that drive is on the back burner. Like I’m flatlining.
Yes, overall I am super happy – in fact, I think the past 2 years have been the happiest years ever. I’m living my life exactly as I pictured it since I was a kid, and I’m damn proud I created that by GOING for it and never settling for less.
And yes, I’ve definitely had moments where I felt super enthusiastic and driven about what I do and why I do it.
About ALL the content I created.
And I’ve LOVED every interaction with my clients.
But those were moments of enthusiasm, not my overall feeling.
It used to be (from 2003, when I started my business, until 2 years ago) my default feeling to have a massive drive for my message and work – with moments where I felt flat or disappointed for sure.
And I’ve definitely struggled during those years – a LOT, even, in the first couple of years.
But still….that drive, that inner fire, was always there. Never far away. And I could always feel it again quickly – and even often felt it underneath the struggle or the stress.
I do have some ideas about WHY I don’t feel my WHY so deeply anymore.
I tuned into it and asked my guides about it and got some pretty solid answers.
And it’s OK. I’ll feel that same (or different…) drive again – who knows, maybe even today. Or not. It’s all good.
But I miss it sometimes.
I’d like to feel that enthusiasm as my default feeling again.
So I open up to it.
I invite my inner drive that’s still part of me somewhere to show its fucking face again.
Or, well, to grace me with its presence. (A tad impatience showing there, haha!)
And I am open to see where it will take me….
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