Last August, I noticed something weird:

At night I’d wake up and feel energy surging through my belly.

Not a lot.

But enough for me to notice it.

It happened a couple of weeks in a row, and then it stopped.


When I asked my guides about it, they told me my frequency was raised.

And my body went through physical changes as a result of some inner shifts I made.

They also told me it was time to work with energy more.

A message I received many times over the past 20 years.

I said ‘yes’ to it every time, and followed the nudges that came on my path next.

That’s why I did Reiki I, II and III – even though I had no intention to ever teach others how to do Reiki (Nor to give people Reiki treatments. That’s just not for me. But I DID feel it was important to learn how to do it. And so I did.)


Over the years I deepened my channeling skills; honed my intuition; learned more about reading energy and working with energy; how to work with the Akashic Records; and more.

Every time I was nudged to do more with energy, I followed the inspiration that always came next.

Sometimes this required me to learn a new modality or skill.

Sometimes it required me to play with what I already knew.

And my guides were always there to give me instructions, ideas and additional information.


The steps didn’t usually feel scary or weird.

The only time I was REALLY resistant was the very first time my guides told me I was healer.

A healer?! Ah, come on, you’ve GOT to be kidding me! I don’t want to do hands-on healings!

And I don’t want to work with people who are sick! Or who just want you to take away their pain without being willing to change their lifestyle to take away the true cause of their pain!

Yep, that was my initial reaction 🙂


But still…underneath that resistance 2 decades ago, I could ALSO feel that it was true:

I WAS a healer.

Still am.

Just not the kind that does hands-on healings.

Or treats random people for headaches or back pains.

I’m a healer with words. And with my presence. It’s in my being, and healing energy automatically comes with everything I do:

My writing. My videos. My coaching calls. My channels. My voice. And simply in who I AM.


So by now, all that healing stuff and energy work was pretty clear for me.

Or so I thought…

I recently got the message again that it was time to do more with energy.

And as always, I said:


Sure! I’m game.

Just show me what to do and I’ll do it.

At first, this led to playing with consciously adding more healing energy to my channels and coaching calls.

And to infusing energy into things I was working on in different ways.


And still familiar:

It was an expansion of what I was already doing combined with some new insights.


Until a couple of weeks ago.

I started to wake up at night again. Several times a night.

And when I woke up, I felt energy surging through my belly in BIG waves.

It was similar to the experience of last August.

But BIGGER. More intense.

The energy of last August was like a mild summer breeze.

Compared to that, this energy feels more like a tornado.


At first, this frightened me a bit.

What the fuck was that?!

And I tried to keep the energy down.

But only for a second.

I quickly felt it was OK, and it was safe to let the energy do its thing.

Whatever that thing was.


For 4 or 5 weeks, I could only feel that energy at night.

Without having ANY control over it.

I couldn’t summon it or turn it on.

And once it was there, I couldn’t stop it, move it, or do anything with it.

I’d just be awake (the energy is too intense to sleep through or fall asleep with) until it was gone. So I just tried to relax as much as I could.


Naturally, I asked my guides for information on this energy.

What was it?

What was happening?

Was there something I needed to do with it?

Or know about it?


The answers came:

It was a clearing of my body after I made some huge inner shifts again.

My frequency was being raised.

My body was strengthened and rewired to be able to hold more and more intense/pure/powerful energy.

I was now able to let more energy flow through me and flow it out to others (or whatever I choose to flow it to.)


It made sense and it feels like something that’s part of me and part of what I’m born for, so I allowed it to happen.


Since about a week and a half, something changed again:

I can now ‘summon’ the energy or turn it on – I’m not sure how to call it exactly.

First only at night when I was comfortably in my bed.

And later also during the day – even though I don’t feel the energy as intense as I do at night.

(I feel it now, too. And when I put my attention on it, I can feel it expand and grow stronger.)


I asked more questions about it last week.

And more answers came – spread out over several days so it doesn’t overwhelm me.

Which is a good thing.

‘Cause the information that comes through now feels absolutely true – but rationally?

I don’t get it. At all.

(Which is fine, though. I also don’t understand how phones, the internet, or electricity work. But I know it exists and I love using it.)


I normally wouldn’t share any of this with others.

Well, yes, with one or two people who I KNOW totally get this stuff.

But writing about it? At all?

Let alone now, when it’s all so new to me and I’m just at the beginning stages of exploring what it all means and how I can work with it?



There are still some leftover doubts that wonder if it’s really safe to share this with others.

(But now that I write it down, I realize I already know AND trust that it is.)

Or if people will think I’m an arrogant bitch.

(Although that actually doesn’t bother me at all. I’m totally fine with you thinking I’m arrogant. Or a bitch. Or an arrogant bitch.)


But aaahhhhhhh…..there is ONE thing that DOES scare me a bit about sharing this:

That there are MANY people out there who know SO MUCH MORE about all this stuff than I do.

Who might read what I’m about to share and who’ll think that I’m full of shit and don’t know what I’m talking about.


Apparently, I don’t FULLY trust my own truth.

And a part of me would like some more proof or confirmation from an outside source that I’m not talking bullshit.

And that this is indeed all true.


But even THAT fades away as I write this.

I know what I know.

I know my truth.

And I know I can trust that. Always.

I don’t need other people’s confirmation to tell me what I already know.

And if others don’t believe it?

It’s STILL true for me.


So what IS it about that energy that felt (yep, past tense) weird to share?

That I now have an energy portal inside me.

A portal I will learn to open and close at will. (Something I’m just starting to take baby-steps in now.)

A portal that gives me direct access to pure, high frequency energy and information from higher dimensions.

Energy and information I can directly receive AND then share and flow out to others.

Through my writing. My speaking. My channeling. My being. Or whatever else I feel inspired to flow it to and through.


I have no idea what this will bring me, or what it will look like a year, a month, a week, or even a day from now.

I simply allow it to happen.

I welcome it.

I KNOW this is part of who I am. Part of my purpose and mission.

And I’m curious to see what it will bring me.

I know it’s all good and I’ll LOVE it!


Why it’s important to share this?

I have no idea.

Maybe you need to read this.

And maybe I’m writing it only for myself.

It doesn’t matter and I don’t need to know.


I feel it’s what wants to be done by me now – and so I do it.

I might keep you posted. And maybe this is the one and only time I’ll write about this.

I don’t know.

And again: I don’t have to know.


I simply do what’s mine to do, from moment to moment.

That’s how I do business and how I do life. It’s the only way for me.


I could have taken those doubts and slight fear about sharing this OUT of this article.

I mean, it’s long enough as it is already. And I already released it by writing about it.

But I consciously left it in.

Because maybe, just maybe…. there’s something inside YOU that wants to come out, wants to be seen, wants to be shared, wants to be talked or written about.

And maybe the same things that could have stopped me (but didn’t) are stopping you right now.


Maybe it’s just what you need to read so you can stop doubting yourself, and honor your inner calling as well.

As I hope you always do anyway.

Because that inner calling?

Is your very own SOUL reminding you of what you were born for.

What YOU chose to be, do and experience in this wonderful lifetime on earth.


Honor your calling and truth – and don’t worry about being different, crazy, or weird, baby.

You’re exactly as you’re supposed to be.

And that’s exactly who the world needs.


Enjoy life and as always,

Be true to YOU in everything you do,







©️ Brigitte van Tuijl

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