One of the biggest shifts I made in my business is the result of something that sounds so simple…but that’s actually pretty hard:

To relax.

It’s something I had to learn.

Or rather:

I had to UNlearn a lot of things, so that I could sink into more relaxation.

Worry less.

And get more access to all the opportunities, flow and inspiration that’s available 24/7.

Now, feeling more relaxed is something I help my own clients with, too.

And that often triggers a lot of questions – and resistance:

“But I can’t just do NOTHING!”

“But I have NO TIME to relax!”

“But if I just sit there and relax, how will I ever get all my shit done?”

“Yeah, but if I wait until I feel inspired I won’t make any money!”

“How can I make money if I relax all the time?!”

But feeling relaxed has NOTHING to do with the (lack of) actions you take. 


And it always takes me (some) time to explain what it DOES mean.

But then this morning I heard someone describe relaxation in such a beautiful, profound way that makes instant sense.

This is what she said:

Here’s what relaxation really is:

Relaxation is the absence of tension.

Let me repeat that one more time – if not for you, then at least for myself 😉

Relaxation is the absence of tension.

It truly is!!!

You can be super busy and take 5 trillion actions every day – and feel totally relaxed all the time.

And you can be lazy as fuck and do nothing all day – and feel totally stressed out, guilty, or uncomfortable. Anything BUT relaxed – even when you’re not doing a single thing.

Relaxation is SO crucial – not just for you, but for your business, too! Here’s why:

When you’re relaxed, you:

⭐️Are automatically present in this moment, in your body;

⭐️Are open to receive. Receiving IN GENERAL – of ANYTHING you want and need. Whether it’s opportunities, ideas, insights, inspiration, money, clients, love, joy, pleasure, oatmeal. (OK, maybe not oatmeal. I just had a fleeting thought of oatmeal just now.)

⭐️And when you’re present, calm, open and relaxed? Everything flows. You always know what to do. You FEEL GOOD. And your results can flow to you unrestricted as well!!

When you think about relaxing in terms of doing less (or even nothing), you may never get around to it.

But when you think of it in terms of the absence of tension?

You open the door to more inner peace right now.

Because what is, when you get to the very core of it, the ONLY thing that triggers ANY tension in your life?

It’s your THOUGHTS.

And what do you have FULL power and control over?


Now you know where to start to feel more relaxed (and why that’s important for your business, too): 

By exploring which thoughts cause you stress, and release them.

What are you thinking right now that causes you stress?

And what could you think instead that makes you feel (even slightly) better?

For example:

When you think something like this:

I have SO much to do and you’re blabbing on about relaxing, Van Tuijl! But letting go of that tension won’t get me through my to-do-list any faster!

Replace it with something like this:

You are amazing, Van Tuijl! I LOVE this article! Just reading it makes me feel SO relaxed!

Haha! Just kidding.  (But: DO feel free to think that I’m amazing. ;-))

No, replace it with something like this:

Hm. Well, feeling stressed doesn’t make me go through my to-do-list any faster either. So why don’t I take a deep breath, take a couple of seconds to feel into what’s MOST important right now, and do that. And after that, we’ll see what’s next?

See how it can work?

To letting go of your tension,

And sinking deeper and deeper into relaxation,

Which is, after all, your natural state of being…



P.S. If sinking into your natural state of being, relaxing more, and following your flow in business & life more speaks to you, my book ‘The Inner Minimalist – clear the clutter of your mind for a simpler, quieter and happier life‘ is for you!

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