Last week, I mentioned 4 articles still on my to-write-list in my article about overwhelm.

Here is the first of these 4 for you.

And it’s not just for introverts!

This article includes some gems for extraverts and ambiverts and whatever-verts, too.



What annoys the crap out of me in most articles geared towards introverts. And what’s MUCH better to focus on instead.


Since I’m an introvert myself, I used to read articles about and for introverts for a while.

I liked that because it helped me understand myself more.

But pretty quickly, I stopped reading those articles.



Because usually, this is what the message came down to:

Being extraverted is the norm, and how we work and do business is based on that.

You, the introvert, are the one who’s different, so you need to adjust.

Here are some tips that help you with that.

And then you get those articles with tips that help you:

  • Go to networking events without feeling drained for 6 weeks after!

  • Make an appearance on birthday parties (and maybe even have some fun there!) without having to sleep 14 hours straight the next day to feel slightly human again!

  • Raise kids and be there for everyone and grow your business and still find 5 minutes for yourself every year or so!

  • How to survive the holidays or those awful office parties or team-building activities!

  • How to live up to all demands and obligations you must meet or else you can’t grow your business or make enough money!

OK, I’m exaggerating, but if you’ve ever read any of those articles, you know what I mean.

But here’s what’s usually NOT in there – what really SHOULD be in there:

#1 That it’s OK to say NO to whatever and whomever whenever you like.

Don’t like parties?

Don’t go, unless you REALLY feel like it.

Hate networking?

Don’t go. You don’t have to to build or grow your business.

There’s NO need to learn how to survive them.

UNLESS you truly, genuinely want to be there – in that case, it comes in handy to know how to keep your energy high.


And even THEN it’s good to know you can still say NO:

NO to doing exercises in little groups (fuck of! Introverts think better alone!)

NO to staying until the end if you don’t feel like it.

NO to those stupid ‘high five your neighbor!’ or ‘hug the person in the row in front of you!’ ice-breakers.

NO to WHATEVER kind of group pressure to join in something you don’t want to take part in.


#2 That’s there’s NO NEED to live up to other people’s expectations.

Your expectations are your responsibility.

Other people’s expectations are their responsibility.

You’re responsible for keeping your promises, of course.

But NEVER for what other people expect from you, without you explicitly saying that you’d do or deliver that.


#3 That there REALLY is NO NEED to adjust to extraverted behavior when you have your own business. (Or to do ANYTHING that doesn’t truly fit you.)


You can create your schedule EXACTLY as you like it.

You can do your marketing any which way you like it.

You can sell in any way that works for you.

You can create ANY kind of business model that supports your ideal life-and workstyle.

You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want it – and be successful as a result, too.


#4 That being an introvert is actually your SUPER POWER – not something to work around!!

You see, hear, know and notice things that others miss.

You think before you speak, so usually, what you have to say is pure GOLD.

You process and feel before you act, so when you jump into something? You’re prepared and ready for it.

You are a MASTER at LISTENING, at truly SEEING the other person.

Yes, that’s why people tell you their deepest secrets.

That’s why people you don’t know confide in you so easily.


And YES, this is a HUGE ASSET in building and growing a business.

Because what 100% of people CRAVE, is to be seen and heard.

That’s something you’re naturally good at!!!


#5 That ALL you have to do to grow your business and live the life your soul wants for you, is to be COMPLETELY true to who you are.

Your soul isn’t stupid.

Your soul CHOSE this personality & how you’re wired on purpose.

EVERYTHING that makes you YOU helps your soul to experience and express all the things it wants to.

So no, you don’t need to change who you are.

No, you don’t have to do things like others do them. (Unless you choose to because you want to.)

You are at your BEST and contribute the MOST when you are completely true to who you really are.


Extraverted behavior may have been the norm for I don’t know how long.

But it no longer is.

And even if it still was, so what?


You’re the boss of your life.

Of your time.

Of EVERYTHING in your business.

Decide how you want to live and do business and DO THAT.

You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval but your own.

Own your super power and how you’re wired, baby!!

The more you do, the easier it is to just be you.


And the more you are you?

The happier you are.

The more you can contribute.

And the better your results will be.

All you need is to be you, baby 😉





P.S.: Want more inspiration & support on being true to YOU and building your entire business around that?

Come join me in the Divinely Selfish Community.

That’s ALL about putting YOU first in business & life – so you can serve without suffering.

Today we started week 2 of  ‘Finish That Thing – 7 weeks to finish your project / idea / book / creation before Christmas’ and you can still jump in if you have something (or multiple things) you’d like to finish before the year is over.  

Check it out here & sign up if it resonates. 



If you’d rather work with me 1-1, that’s possible, too.

Check it out here and apply for a spot if you feel it’s a perfect fit and we’re a match made in heaven 😉 


©️ Brigitte van Tuijl



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