She coached me on all kinds of things having to do with my book.
But in all our years of working together, the book was never finished.
Now, I’m in the final stages of finishing it.
And I wanted to thank her for her unwavering belief in me and my book.
But as I was writing the email, something shifted:
It’s not HER I should be thanking now, I thought.
Yes, she stood by me and my book for a long time.
But I stood by myself and my book a HELLUVA LOT longer.
It was quite the journey and I wrote many, MANY different versions of the book over the years.
And EVERY time I worked on yet another version I always felt two things:
Yes, this book is mine to write and it WILL be published one day.
And no, this version is still not the final one.
Even though right now, I have no clue why not.
Yet I kept working on it.
Clarity always came.
Which every time, led to starting over from scratch again.
Which I did.
EVERY. Single. Fucking. Time.
And for the first time, I thanked myself for that.
And sent that email to myself:
Thank me, for NEVER giving up.
Thank me, for listening to my soul ALWAYS.
Thank me, for writing version after version.
Thank me, for facing EVERY fear and doubt that came up along the way.
Thank me, for sticking to it, even though most of the time, I didn’t understand why it took me so long and why this STILL wasn’t finished yet.
Now, it’s almost finished.
And that can only happen because I NEVER gave up.
What can you thank yourself for?
What did you never give up on?
Thank yourself for it.
Write yourself a thank-you note.
You’ll be glad you did when you feel what it does for you.
©️Brigitte van Tuijl
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