This is the biggest mindfuck of all when it comes to doing business in your own way:

That you have to do business completely different from everybody else.

That you can’t use the same business, sales or marketing strategies that other people use.

That you MUST set yourself apart from others in everything you do.


And if you’re not being and doing things TOTALLY different?

You’re not being true (enough) to yourself or your soul.


None of this is true.


It’s still an idea that a lot of people – often unconsciously – have.

(You may have it – partially – too.)


I realized this when I read this comment someone posted on Facebook last week:

“….Soul business (for me) means to be yourself, not like everyone else out there.”


Well….one does not necessarily exclude the other.

You can be like others AND do things your own way.

You can be unique AND do things exactly like others do them.


None of these are mutually exclusive.

Believing that they are, actually hurts your business and KEEPS you from being true to yourself.


Here are some examples of how this belief can hurt your business:


  • You have an idea for a workshop / program / product / book / service– but there are already dozens of similar programs etc. out there, so you don’t do anything with it. Becausewhat could you possibly have to add to what’s already been created?


(Well, THIS: Your energy, choice of words, perspective, way of addressing it, and tone of voice. Even when the topic and what you have to say about it are similar to what’s already been said about it, there’s STILL room for you and your idea.)


  • You’re looking for ways to market your business, and you think: OK, I can’t do email marketing or blogging, because everyone is already doing that. Facebook groups aren’t original, so I can’t do that either. The result?You’re stuck, because you can’t come up with something unique. You’ve closed yourself off from opportunities & options that are right under your nose,because you’re more concerned with doing things differently than with marketing in ways that are a perfect fit to you.


  • You’re looking for ways to launch a program, and you think: OK, I can’t do a free webinar, ‘cause that’s been done millions of times before. Can’t do joint ventures, ‘cause that’s not unique anymore, either. The result?You lose sight of ideas and inspired actions that might be a perfect fit for you, because, again, you’re preoccupied with being unique, instead of with being true to YOU.



Here’s what being true to you & doing business in your own way REALLY means:

To be true to your innate nature.

To act in alignment with your values, beliefs, personality, wants, needs, and opinions.

To be true to your own vision you have for your business & life.

To express your soul through your business.

And to do business & life in a way that is perfectly aligned with all of who you truly are.


All of the above can mean that you do things in a way that’s different from how others do it – AND it can mean that you’re doing things in EXACTLY the same way.

It can mean that what you do is understood and supported by others – AND it can mean that others don’t understand or criticize it.

It can mean that you break all or some of the rules of your industry – AND it can mean that you break no rules whatsoever.


Does it matter if how you do business is (partially) the same OR completely different from how others do it?

Of course not!

ALL that matters is that you’re doing business in ways that are a perfect fit for YOU. 

And being true to you NEVER has ANYTHING to do with what others do, how others behave, or what others are like.


If you think you have to be different from others, you’re not thinking of being true to YOU – you’re thinking of NOT being like others.

If you think you have to be the same as other people, you’re not thinking of being true to YOU either – you’re thinking of being like others.


In both cases you’re looking at OTHERS to determine who you think you should be and what you think you should do.

And in both cases, that takes you AWAY from yourself.


Doing business in your own way means that you do WHATEVER you want in WHATEVER way suits YOU perfectly – whether or not it’s the same OR different from what others are doing.

How other people do anything is TOTALLY IRRELEVANT for how YOU do anything.

THAT’S the whole point of being true to YOU.

And it’s the whole point of doing business in YOUR own way.


It’s OK to be different. And it’s OK to be like others.

It’s OK to fit in. And it’s OK to stand out.


Just. Be. And. Do. YOU. – without comparing yourself to others all the time.

Do things YOUR way, and stop looking at or caring about what others are doing.

To being true to YOU, baby!


©️Brigitte van Tuijl

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