This is one of the things my clients struggle with most:
There are things they really want to do in their business – but they don’t do them because they think it’s not possible to do that AND still get clients / make enough money / still be seen, accepted or liked.
And there are things they DON’T want to do in their business, but they still do them, because they think it’s necessary to do it if you want to grow your business / get enough clients / still be seen, accepted or liked.
The truth is this:
There’s ALWAYS a way to do everything in business YOUR way.
I’m living proof of that:
I work as a coach AND I’m a hermit. I love people – but only in moderation.
For many years, I didn’t know how to combine these two in a way that was a perfect fit for me:
I either made enough money BUT had too many clients, which drained me, and made me pull out of marketing and further visibility – because god forbid even MORE people would find their way to me. Aaaghhh!
OR I had all the wonderful, soul-nurturing, joyful feeling, LIFE-bringing alone time I wanted …but didn’t make enough money. Aaaagggghhhh!
This drove me crazy for years.
And even though I had already found the right balance for me for about 90%, and was doing everything in my business mostly in my own way, it just wasn’t enough.
That 10% I lacked was killing me.
Sucking the life out of me.
And pissed me off GIANORMOUSLY.
Until one day I decided that enough was e-fucking-NOUGH.
I was tired of being a Crappy Hermit.
And decided to turn myself into the Happy Hermit.
(In case you’re wondering why I call myself The Happy Hermit: this is it.)
Which I successfully did.
For me, this means that I make a MAXIMUM of 4 appointments per week, for only 3 weeks per month.
Every 4th week is my Hermit Week, which is a COMPLETELY appointment-free zone.
And those 4 appointments I make MAXIMUM per week, include EVERY kind of appointment that includes any form of direct interaction:
Group calls / private client calls / a call with one of my own coaches / sales calls with potential clients / a call with my bookkeeper or other people on my team.
That’s a pretty radically different schedule from ANY coach I’ve EVER known.
It doesn’t matter if my schedule sounds like something YOU’D like to have or not, that’s not the point I want to make.
I’m sharing my example to show you that there is ALWAYS a way to do it YOUR way – even if your way looks like nothing anyone else has ever done before.
Even when you think it’s not possible.
Even when you don’t know HOW.
And even when you think it simply cannot be done:
There’s ALWAYS a way to do it YOUR way.
There are two sides to that:
One is the practical side.
That’s the easy part.
How I managed to grow my business and income as a Happy Hermit is simple:
I raised my 1-1 fees significantly.
I created group programs and products.
And I created those programs & products in ways that add value while hardly costing me any time where I interact directly with people.
And that’s just ONE practical way to do it.
I bet there are many more, but this is the way I chose, because that fitted me best.
(This might change again when I publish my book upcoming book series.
What will NEVER change though?
Is the joy and LIFE my alone time gives me. I can ONLY love people, deeply connect with them, have valuable friendships AND be a brilliant coach, when I spend 90% of my time alone.
If I don’t? I start to resent people, ALL people, and it drains all of my energy and zest for life to be there for them.
And then I am not there for ME.
And that’s something I simply DO NOT settle for.
I’m not here to make others happy. That’s not my job. It’s my job to make ME happy. Just as it’s your job to make YOU happy.
All of this is a side note and at the same time the core of what I believe in:
You’re not worth shit to yourself or anyone else if you don’t honor what your soul, what YOU, need FIRST.
That’s the core of being Divinely Selfish, which is the core of my work, and the title of my upcoming book series, AND the essence of a new program I’m working on – stay tuned for that if any of this speaks to you.)
The other side is the INSIDE work:
The mindset. The healing. The letting go and releasing of thoughts, beliefs, behaviors and patterns that keep you from being true to ALL of you:
Doubting if you’re good enough; if you fit in enough; if you’re truly worthy; if you can really exist / survive / be loved / be seen / make money / get clients if you are perfectly true to YOU.
The inner work comes down to this – which is often easier said than done:
To give yourself FULL permission to be ALL of you in EVERY area of your business and life.
To fully accept ALL of who you are, including the parts of yourself that you feel ashamed of or guilty about.
Including the parts you’ve been hiding in order to feel safe or fit in.
Including your weirdness, your flaws, and everything you ever started to believe are wrong about you.
To DECIDE to embrace yourself fully, and to build your entire business around that – even when you don’t know how.
And to deal with and heal, shift and transform any inner obstacle, fear or doubt that comes up along the way.
THAT’S the ONLY thing that ever makes it difficult to be who you are, to be true to ALL of who you are, and to build your entire life and business around that.
AND it CAN be done.
Whether you’re a coach, a healer, a graphic designer, a writer, or a poet.
Whether you have children or not.
Whether your needs and desires seem to totally contradict each other at first (like me being a hermit AND working with people AND having this insane drive to reach women all over the world WITHOUT ever wanting to travel, leave my house, or speak to more than a couple of people per week.)
Whatever you want, whatever your SOUL needs: it can be done.
In YOUR way.
Whatever way that looks like.
Regardless of what others tell you is possible – or not.
I’m here to tell you that it IS possible.
And I’m here to tell all coaches, healers and others who work with people this:
Yes, you CAN work with people, and LOVE people – and still want them to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU the moment you feel peopled out.
Yes, you CAN have impact and change lives without constantly interacting with people.
Yes, you CAN have impact and change lives without working with anyone 1-1 ever, if that’s what you most prefer.
Yes, you CAN grow your business, internationally too if that’s what you choose, without traveling, without seeing people in real live, without going to events, without organizing events, without having a lot of appointments on your schedule.
Yes, you CAN offer in-depth coaching and healing over the phone or Skype. (In fact: my coaching is BETTER and more profound when I talk to people on the phone or Skype without seeing them, too.)
Yes, you CAN be a coach or healer or work with people in whatever way, and not enjoy being around people too much.
And yes, you CAN still grow your business without taking on too many clients.
The practical ways and steps will reveal themselves to you – but ONLY AFTER you take this step first:
To DECIDE that you’re going to do everything in YOUR way and on YOUR terms now – even if you don’t know how or if it’s even possible.
It starts with your choice. With your decision.
And you can make that decision NOW.
To being true to YOU in everything you do – and building your entire business & life around it,
P.S.: Need support in being true to you in everything you do, and building your entire business & life around it?
My 1-1 coaching might be just what you need. You can read all about it here.
P.P.S.: and stay tuned for a new program I’m working on that’s ALL about being Divinely Selfish and doing everything in business & life in your way, on your terms.
More info on that in a couple of weeks!
And final P.S.: I wrote more about how I turned myself from a Crappy Hermit into a Happy Hermit when I had just made that decision in November 2012 in this blog.