I watched an episode of ‘Derek’ yesterday on Netflix.

(Side note: Watch if you like Ricky Gervais. Also check it out if you’re not: it’s a really good comedramady or whatever you call it.)

In this one, the obnoxious janitor has an outspoken opinion on addictions:

“Addiction? There’s no such thing, is there? It’s just about willpower, innit? What do you mean you can’t stop drinking? Just stop drinking. Are drugs killing you? Don’t take drugs. It’s that simple.”

It’s very funny to hear him say it (and see his face with it, too), AND it’s ALSO obvious this view on addiction is waaaayyyyyy too simple.


But SO many people have this exact overly simplistic view on getting results or growing your business:

Don’t be so lazy! You gotta take action to make it happen! Just do it!


And this is PARTLY true.

YES, of course you have to take action.


But that’s NOT always a simple matter of just doing it!!!

The reason you’re not doing what you KNOW you really SHOULD be doing, is NOT that you’re a lazy bastard who can’t be arsed to do the work.

And the solution therefor is NOT to kick your ass and tell yourself to JUST DO THE FUCKING THING.

(And it’s ALSO NOT to hire a coach who does little more than tell you to ‘just get on with it’, or tries to ‘motivate’ you into doing more. NO ONE can motivate you but YOU.)


Because something else is going on underneath the surface.

Here are some of the reasons I see over and over again in my clients (and myself!) – and YES, every one of these reasons can be overcome or healed or moved through.

Yes, there can be other reasons, too – but these are the reasons I most often encounter.


As always, changing anything starts with awareness first.

So if you feel you really should do more, or find it hard to get into action?


Read through these 5 reasons and check which one(s) applies to you.

THAT’S where YOUR personal solution starts:


Reason #1: not going for what you REALLY want.

You’re either going for a watered-down version of what you truly desire, or for something you think you should want based on what others want or expect from you.



Reason #2: not allowing yourself to want what you want OR to receive it.

Thinking you’re not good enough, not worthy enough.

Feeling ashamed for what you want, because it’s just not done to want this in your family or circle of ‘friends’. (People who don’t support your TRUE desires aren’t real friends. Hence the ‘….’)

Feeling guilty for what you want when you already have it so good compared to others.

Feeling guilty or ashamed for being so terribly greedy or selfish to want EVEN MORE.


Reason #3: not believing you’re capable of getting what you want OR fearing you’ll lose it again once you have it.

So why bother? Why do the work and take the actions if you know you’ll fail? Or if you know you’ll lose it again once you have it? Nah. Forget about it.


Reason #4 A: being scared of the actions you have to take.

Being more visible! Letting go of something that felt comfortable or safe for so long!

Or doing whatever (else) it is that potentially makes you feel scared, vulnerable or uncomfortable.

#4B: OR the actions aren’t aligned with you.

They’re not a perfect fit to YOU. To your personality, soul, needs, wants, and desires.

The only way that works for you is YOUR way.

And you tend to resist the actions that aren’t a perfect match for YOU.



Reason #5: the downside of getting what you want: the price feels too high.

For me, freedom is my #1 value. Both inner and outer freedom.

And for a long time, I subconsciously thought I couldn’t have success AND freedom.

On some level, I thought it was one or the other.

And so subconsciously, I ALWAYS chose freedom.

I could only change this once I became aware of this.


I see this same (subconscious) process going on in my clients’ minds over and over, too:

Thinking you can either be a good mother OR grow your business.

Thinking you can have either a successful business OR a happy loving relationship.

Thinking you have to choose between good self-care OR success; between having enough time for yourself OR business growth; between freedom & privacy OR business growth; between being true to who you are OR business growth.


Whatever reason(s) may be going on underneath for you, they OF COURSE lead to some form self-sabotage, which in turn leads to OF COURSE not taking enough (or the right) action.

You’re not lazy.


You just have more or seemingly better reasons for staying where you are, than you have for moving forward.

So if you’re not taking enough action or THINK you’re not taking enough action?

(Which may not be true to begin with, by the way, because we’re all brainwashed with and addicted to the overly masculine way of manifesting, which overly emphasizes Action and Pushing Through and Forcing and Acting On Willpower and Manning Up – which leaves NO room for the feminine art and energy of manifesting. These two energies, the feminine and the masculine, need to be BALANCED, yo.

Because the masculine way doesn’t work for women. And it’s dying out in the world in general anyway because it’s out of whack for men, too. It’s old world, old school manifesting that no longer serves nor works in the new world that’s emerging.)


Check out what’s going on underneath the surface.

Start with going over the above reasons to see which one(s) are blocking your flow.


If you need help with that?

Find a good coach. One who understands and can work with both mindset AND energy AND soul.

Could be me, or someone else who’s a better fit for you.

If you can’t afford or need 1-1 coaching, my online business healing program Rise may be a good fit for you. That’s ALL about the inner mindset, healing and energy you need to grow your business. 


Whatever kind of help you need, it’s already out there for you.

All you have to do is DECIDE to GO for what you REALLY want.

To be committed and all in, even if you’re not sure what that means yet. And even if it scares you.

Ask the universe to show you your next step, and lead you to whatever or whomever YOU need to move forward on your path.

(And then, of course, take action on the help, signs, answers and insights you WILL receive!!!)


But first, examine what reason(s) might be blocking your flow.

Sometimes, getting clear on what’s blocking you is enough to transform it.


To living the life and building the business YOU want,


© Brigitte van Tuijl



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