It feels like a big blur of energy, random thoughts, things I want to create and do and OMG where to begin!
For years, it used to paralyze me when my mind was so busy as it is right now.
Before I had my own business, I could never find a channel to express all of my thoughts & ideas through:
I always felt like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time where what I REALLY wanted to do and had to offer was not welcome and/or not appropriate.
And the truth is, those places were indeed the wrong places for me:
NOT the kind of places where my soul thrives.
My soul needs complete and utter FREEDOM.
If I don’t have that?
My soul withers and slowly dies.
And for years I didn’t know how to create other options for myself. I just couldn’t see it.
Instead of starting a business on the side, for example, or write a book in my spare time, I felt completely powerless and trapped.
And the only way to deal with all that energy, all that input, all that inspiration, all those ideas, all that yearning to express myself and be FREE, was to suppress it all.
That’s why I chain-smoked my way through life from about when I was 18 and first left home to study at university, until I was I think around 31 or so.
(Not coincidentally the age I had already decided to start my own business, and was preparing for it by first getting a thorough and in-depth coach training.)
But before I knew how to channel that energy and how to express it FREELY in ways that feeds my soul and make me HAPPY?
I didn’t see any other way than to just push it away.
It wasn’t just the ideas I didn’t know how to express (let alone make money with it.)
On top of that there was the constant and (for me) unwanted buzz of having people around me almost all the time:
People people people, always around, at school, and at work.
With their presence and their energy and the added input of THAT on top of everything that was going on inside me already.
Jesus holy christ.
Thank god for cigarettes and alcohol – as counter intuitive as that sounds, and as unhealthy as it is from a physical point of view: it most certainly helped me to soften all that energy, all that input, all that constant humming of information inside me and around me.
It helped me function in the ’normal’ world. In ’normal’ life, where it’s just the way it is that people are around you in schools and in jobs, and you’re not paid or encouraged to think for yourself, and not fitting in and doing and being different is seen as a nuisance at best and something to push against and try and break and push into the ‘normal’ mold at worst.
But suppressing who you are and what you TRULY want to do – suppressing your SOUL – is not a sustainable long-term strategy.
It makes you miserable. Makes you feel powerless, helpless, and unfulfilled. Always yearning for something that is just (or completely) out of reach.
And you always need coping mechanisms to keep that soul DOWN boy, down!
Coping mechanisms like over-eating, smoking, drinking, gambling, watching too much Netflix, numbing your way through life.
Like I did, for many years, before I decided that enough was fucking ENOUGH already, and I started living my life completely on MY terms, in MY way, in ways that made my soul SO DEEPLY HAPPY.
So now, when my mind is swirling with ideas and energies and I can feel the words and smell and almost touch them, and then they drift away and other words and ideas start piping up, and my head is full, I do NOT do what I did so many lifetimes ago: smoke a bunch of cigarettes (and, when it was evening, a couple of beers or wines to go with it).
Now, I grab a notebook – if the energies and insights and question marks circle around 2 to 3 different topics – and I write.
And when there are more than 3 different topics the ideas circle around, I bring out the big guns:
My beloved whiteboard! And whiteboard markers in all the colors!
There she is, in the picture above, polished and clean and ready to be scribbled all over.
I already feel a sense of calm come over me, only from knowing that I’ll be grabbing all the thoughts, all the insights, all the questions and all the energies by the tale, one by one.
And when I’m done, it’s all structured. Clear. Brought back to its essence, its core, the message it has for me.
My soul is free to sing now.
Because I CHOSE it to be free.
I CHOSE to let it sing.
And I will ALWAYS do what makes my soul sing – and let go of everything inside or outside of me that threatens to trample all over it.
I KNOW what it feels like to ‘live’ without fully expressing your soul, who you are.
And I KNOW what it feels like to let it all out, let it shine, let it sing, let it be, let MYSELF be.
I know what I choose any day of the week, every second of every day.
So, I’m off to let my soul sing now, baby.
And if you read this all the way through?
Ask yourself what makes YOUR soul sing right now.
And while you’re at it, ask yourself this, too:
Are you doing that?
Are you expressing your soul in your life, in your work?
To the extent it yearns to be expressed?
Be you, babe. DO you.
It’s the only way to feel happy and thrive.
© Brigitte van Tuijl
P.S.: Not fully expressing your soul and being true to who you REALLY are in every aspect of your business & life yet?
Not sure what’s standing in the way of doing that?
Do you yearn to be true to who you really are and do what you’re naturally wired to do?
And express your soul freely & fully in your business & life?
Then keep an eye out for a BRAND-NEW service coming I’m offering within a week or…3? I think:
A Soul Blueprint Reading, Clearing & Realignment.
Where I read AND clear your soul’s Akashic Record which brings you:
- A clear insight in who you truly are, at the level of your soul;
- You learn what your Divine Gift is (the gift that’s part of who you are, of the essence of you – the gift that must be expressed in your business & life for you to be able to thrive);
- You learn what your blocks & restrictions are that stand in the way of fully being true to who you really are, and tapping into your gift fully & freely;
- A complete clearing of these blocks & restrictions;
- Realigning to your soul’s original blueprint, to who you truly are and were always meant to be;
- Personalized homework that helps you ground and anchor this clearing into your daily life & business.
This powerful work opens the door for you to be and do who you truly are, at the level of your soul.
It gives you a deeper understanding of who you are and what’s a natural fit for your soul, and what YOU need to feel happy, fulfilled AND allow your business to thrive.
It gives you a boost of energy and clarity, an opens up a space for you to BE and DO differently, in full alignment with your soul.
And experience a new reality with new (and better) results in your business and life.
(IF of course, you fully USE the space that opened up, and you actually take those new actions & make those decisions that allow your soul to shine & your gift to flourish.)
Want to hear about it the moment the sales page is ready and you can read all about it AND book your reading if it fully resonates with you?
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