What compliments & criticism have in common is this:

They’re both not about you.

They’re both a reflection of something you either trigger OR inspire in someone else.

And they project however that makes them feel back onto you.

 

This doesn’t mean you can’t graciously accept a compliment.

This also doesn’t mean you have to blindly reject every critical remark anyone ever makes about you or your work.

There can absolutely be a kernel of truth in both compliments and critique.

 

Learn from criticism that is constructive and that you can use to do better next time.

(And REJECT and IGNORE every other kind of comment that’s neither respectful nor constructive!)

Gratefully accept each compliment you receive and feel free to be happy with it!

 

Just don’t take any of it personally. 

Compliments don’t make you more of who you are. 

Criticism doesn’t make you less of who you are.

 

Do your best.

Act in alignment with what’s true for YOU. 

Treat others like you want to be treated yourself. 

Act in alignment with your own (moral) standards, values and integrity.

When you make a mistake, correct it or learn from it or apologize if necessary. 

Live exactly how you CHOOSE to live, in alignment with what you believe in & who you choose to be. 

 

When you do that, you never have to fear any criticism. And you don’t need any outside confirmation or compliments to prove that you’re worthy or good enough.

Because you know that both criticism and compliments don’t define you. 

And they don’t determine your value as a person or your worthiness to be loved, to belong or to even have the right to exist.

 

The only approval you need is your own. 

And you can ONLY ever feel loved, acknowledged and valued to the extent that you’re able to love, acknowledge and value yourself.

   

So don’t let your fear of criticism stop you. 

And don’t let your need to be liked or get compliments drive you.

No one can stop OR get you started but you.

YOU decide what you do, say and create. 

YOU decide who you choose to be and how you choose to live.

 

Go write your book, voice your opinion, sing that song, create that project, DO that thing your soul yearns for.

The fear to be criticized, disliked or rejected can only stop you if you let it.

Do your thing, whatever it is!

And love yourself through any and all discomfort or fear.

That’s all you ever need. 

 

 Love,

Brigitte

 

 

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