Joanna Lindenbaum recently asked this question on Facebook:

“Doing some market research –
What, in your opinion, makes someone an amazing coach?”

Joanna is on a mission to add more QUALITY to the coaching industry over QUANTITY.


And OMG do I have me some opinions on what the coaching industry has become over the past decade or so!!!

I don’t feel called to change the industry myself, mind you, (although ONE of the books in my Art of Divine Selfishness-Series will be aimed at coaches & others who work with people profesionally) – but I LOVE amazing coaches, like Joanna, for adding VALUE to the industry (ugh, hate that word, ‘industry’ – but I’ll use it for lack of a better word).

And I LOVE Joanna’s mission to focus on quality over quantity, and to teach others how to add even more quality to their work, too.



I thought I’d finally write the rant on the industry that’s been wanting to come out of me for years now.

Never let it out before because I didn’t have the right words, or weren’t sure what I wanted to say exactly, had something else I felt like expressing more urgently, or was slightly scared of what people might think of me when I unleash myself uncensored on this topic.

I don’t have a clue about the right words this time either, but what the hell, I’m letting it out in the words I DO have right now, and whatever anyone wants to think about it or me is their business, not mine.


So here’s what I SO incredibly dislike about today’s (ugh, ugly word alert) coaching industry:

It’s become a super shallow; quick-short-term-results-focused; all about surface actions and how-to’s with MAYBE some shallow mindset stuff thrown in; all about the BLING and the MAKE-6-OR-7-figures-in-6-steps-in-only-6-months!-formulas; by people who, at best, figured something out for themselves and are indeed successful at it, and now think anyone can get the same results if only they follow the exact same steps as they did, or, at worst, are NOT walking their talk, have NO clue what the fuck they’re talking about, who merely copy some commonplace cliches and hoping to sell lots of it to make a quick buck.

‘Cause it’s all about the Sale and the Money but hey, let’s pretend to be in it for the Mission and the People ’cause after all, that sells better.


A big chunk of the coaching industry is dominated by a mediocre bunch of loudmouths copying each others messages and messaging who only add more fluff, emptiness and nothingness to a field that already knows enough fluff already, thank you very much.

The (ugh) industry became shallow, hollow, and loud.

It’s degenerated and polluted and distorted and sells magic pills that don’t exist.



That’s OK.

The solution is NOT certification or regulation or rules or any of that bullshit. (When, in any branch, has THAT prevented assholes to make a quick buck over peoples backs? Never, that’s when. What you resist, persists. And if rules and laws worked, we wouldn’t have any crime or violence anywhere in the world today. I rest my case.)


The solution is to:

A) lift each other up. For the GOOD ones, the GREAT ones, to lift each other up. To support each other. To help each other rise.

And NOT to bring down the ones we dislike. Nope. No name calling or whatever – put your energy & focus on what you want to see MORE of. Never on what you want to see LESS of.


B) for the good ones, the great ones, (and if you’re still reading this and are nodding your head in agreement, my bet is that YOU ARE one of the great ones), to MAKE THEMSELVES SEEN AND HEARD LOUDER AND MORE VISIBLE THAN EVER BEFORE.


It is my deep belief that there are MORE good, no, GREAT, coaches, mentors, teachers, trainers, and healers out there than there are bad ones.

It’s just that they’re often more quiet, too modest, too afraid of visibility or taking a stand for their gifts and their messages.

And NO, I’m not saying that ALL the visible ones are bad and ALL the good ones are quiet!!!

That’s not true AT ALL.



A LOT of the good ones are not nearly visible enough.

There are SO MANY REMARKABLY GIFTED teachers, coaches, healers, mentors and trainers out there that are hiding out, playing small, feeling unsafe and unseen, feeling scared to SHINE THE LIGHT ON THEIR FULL POTENTIAL – and at the same time ACHING TO DO JUST THAT.



The world doesn’t need more shallow, loud mouthed fakers.


The world needs more love, more quality, more authenticity, more heart, more soul, MORE YOU.

So write that book, create that program, and market the shit out of your thing with integrity, heart & soul.

Take that stand, share that opinion, shine the light on that gift & art of yours.

Own your power, honor your quiet, and make yourself visible and heard in YOUR OWN wonderful way.


Forget about the loud mouths, the mediocre and shitty others in your field, whatever your field is exactly, and don’t let them bully you off of the playground, OK?

Simply forget about them.

Focus on your own calling.


Like I recommit to doing again, right here, right now.

Rant over.

Back to the heart and soul of my own calling.

You won’t hear me about this topic ever again.

Oh wait, it might be a good idea to add a disclaimer here, since I AM going to write a book for coaches / healers / mentors and others working with people:

I *might* rant a *bit* more some day.

Can’t promise I won’t

Rant *really* over now.


And for those who are curious what my answer was on Joanna’s question I mentioned above:

Here it is – and that also tells you what I’d like to see MUCH MORE OF in this coaching (ugh) industry:

An amazing coach is:

Someone who puts real, deep, and lasting transformation above shallow short-term wins & empty short term feel-good-motivational-cliches.

Someone who knows this REAL work can get messy sometimes, can open up old wounds, and bring up tears and fears.

Someone who KNOWS that, who can BE with that, who doesn’t shy away from that.

Someone who is unafraid to be loving, vulnerable, and fierce.

Someone who is unafraid to say what needs to be said, even if it’s not always what the client wants to hear.

Someone who sees her client as the beautiful light she is, who sees her FULL potential, who sees who the client is in the process of becoming, who holds that space for her client, who believes in her client, who sees her client as whole and capable and strong, while at the same time honoring their clients’ path and pace.

Someone who is so much more than a good listener – someone who KNOWS about transformation and growth, about fear and resistance, and who knows how to deal with that, be with that, always.

Someone who walks her talk.

And last but not least:

Someone who knows herself inside and out, and who doesn’t shy away from the messy and painful and vulnerable in herself.



Here are some of the amazing coaches I personally worked with over the past 6 years and whom I KNOW are amazingly gifted & GREAT coaches:

Nikkea B. Devida

Lianne Ebbinkhuijsen – Easy Influence

Jeanna Gabellini

Eva Gregory

Erika Lyremark

Joanna Lindenbaum



© Brigitte van Tuijl


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