It sounds so wonderful.
And it IS.
It’s the most fulfilling thing to do. It’s what you’re BORN to do.
Not doing it is not an option for me.
And every time I am called into a new or next level of my soul’s work, I say YES to it….
…in the end.
‘Cause stepping into your soul’s work, or the next level of it, is not like stepping into a land where roses bloom, the sun always shines, everything always magically flows and works out with an ease that blows your mind.
Yes, it certainly CAN and DOES feel like that.
But that’s not ALL there is to it.
Especially when you’re about to take a step that feels like a big, big leap.
Your fears get triggered. Your doubts come up.
Your inner shit WILL and DOES show up.
And these fears & doubts not only stare you in the face, they shout at you, too.
So loud it’s hard to feel your excitement or joy for the step you’re about to take anymore.
So loud you start doubting if taking that leap, going that direction, starting that new thing, was such a grand idea to begin with.
This is the point where self-sabotage sets in.
Whatever behaviors you developed to distract you from your path, from doing what you’re born to do, from leaping into your TRUE dreams, come out to play.
You resist doing what you KNOW, deep down, you really want (and have) to do.
You struggle. You fight. You cry.
It gets MESSY.
This is the point where it’s oh so tempting to step back.
Where it’s oh so tempting to tell yourself that that’s the right thing to do.
That you need more clarity first.
Need to know HOW you’re going to proceed.
And preferably, you want to get some ironclad GUARANTUEES that it WILL work out, you WILL be fine, you WILL be able to make money doing what you love / doing what you’re called to do / being who you are / following this path you’ve never taken before.
I’m in the middle of all the messy-ness myself again right now.
MASSIVE resistance is showing up again.
I’m not fighting it, though.
I’m allowing it, feeling into it, and BLESSING it this time.
Because I KNOW from previous experiences that the level of healing, clarity, light and joy that’s on the other end of the tunnel, is AT LEAST as big as your resistance is.
The bigger the resistance, the bigger the healing, and the bigger the breakthrough.
This time, the step I’m facing is SEEMINGLY not as some of the big as leaps I took before:
Starting my business in 2003; writing my first book in 2008; completely turning my business around in 2011 (switching from working in The Netherlands to working globally, in English, with new programs for a new audience – I basically started a new business.)
The step I’m in the middle of taking now, SEEMS much smaller on the outside, but it FEELS much bigger on the inside:
I’m FULLY stepping into my soul’s work.
Which means to finally write the book(s) my soul is calling me to write for so many years now.
That triggered so many fears already: fears around feeling safe in this world (which was a HUGE fear for me); fears around being visible; being capable; being good enough.
To name just a few of them 😉
I worked through them all, worked on the book(s) on and off since 2011, and yet….the books still aren’t there.
I’m STILL struggling with it.
And I didn’t understand why.
It wasn’t the safety fear, nor the visibility fear, nor the being-good-enough fear, nor the can-I-really-do-this fear.
The only thing I could come up with, was that my mind was controlling the writing and making it complicated.
So I changed the way I was working on the book, and started free-flow writing.
I opened up to let the book flow through me.
I KNOW how to do that.
It’s how I write, create, and coach since forever.
Yet still….no flow.
The only thing that happened, was that the resistance grew bigger.
I muddled through anyway.
Tried to gently kick my ass through it.
Sometimes that helps (like when you get back to exercising again after you’ve been out of it for a while.)
This time, it didn’t.
The resistance grew bigger.
Self-sabotaging tendencies showed up again.
I didn’t give into them completely, so that was a win 🙂
But still…..no flow.
No joy in writing the book AT ALL.
Which is weird.
Cause I LOVE writing. The process of it makes me so, so, happy.
Like I feel right now, when these words flow to me and through me.
But with the book?
It was still a struggle.
Until this week, when it finally became clear to me.
A deep, deep rooted fear came up.
The fear that, when I FULLY step into my soul’s work & shine my FULL light, people won’t love me anymore.
And, most painfully and importantly: the fear that I will lose my man, that he will break up with me, and I’ll be miserable and alone for the rest of my life.
Because part of me, a very old part that I’ve been carrying around with me for most of my life, does not believe it’s possible to be FULLY who I am, and to be loved, accepted, and able to make money as a result, too.
A part of me still thinks I have to change or suppress parts of who I am in order to manifest the business and life I am BORN for.
(I know. My own lessons in life are the core of my message and my work.
The very things I successfully coach my clients on.
Like many, MANY other coaches/healers/authors, I teach what I most need to learn.)
Subconsciously, a part of me believed I have to choose between love or success.
And subconsciously, I chose love.
As a result, I was being completely true to myself & doing everything in my own way – and at the same time, I was blocking more success and, most importantly, blocking a major part of my soul’s work: spreading my message on a much bigger scale, through my books.
It may not sound like a big revelation to you, but it sure was to me.
A couple of years ago I uncovered a similar block:
Back then, I subconsciously thought I had to choose between either freedom or success.
And subconsciously, I always chose freedom.
I completely turned that around.
I can’t even imagine I ever thought these 2 things excluded each other.
Now, I believe that the more freedom I have, the more success I can create. And I believe that the more success I create, the more freedom I experience.
So I KNOW I can turn it around this time as well.
And I will.
Yet right now, old pain and emotions that feel like they’ve been stored in the very cells of my entire body, are leaving my system now first.
And I know it’s important to allow that to happen, to not hold onto it.
I fully surrender to this process, to feeling uncomfortable at times, to feeling pain and sadness and crying over it without even really knowing what emotions or experiences I’m letting go of exactly.
And I know I don’t have to know.
It’s leaving my system, I’m healing, I’m opening up, and I’m getting lighter all the time.
It’s all good.
In coaching numerous women over the past 16 years, I KNOW the exact same thing is a block for many of them, too:
The moment they’re about to step into the next level of their calling, their soul’s work, their business, resistance shows up. Fears show up. Doubts show up.
The bigger the leap feels, the bigger the resistance is.
And underneath it all are often the same questions.
And these same questions might be blocking YOU too:
What is it YOU fear you will lose when you go for your dream, start that new project, take that leap, make (much) more money, create more success?
What do YOU think you must choose between?
What do YOU fear you will lose, have to become, or must give up in order to FULLY step into your soul’s work & who you TRULY are?
And what choice are YOU unconsciously making that makes it impossible or hard to move forward and grow?
This all happens unconsciously, of course.
You don’t KNOW you’re making a choice that’s blocking you.
It’s all happening underneath the surface.
It shows up as resistance, fears, and doubts.
The way through it is to become aware of it first.
So if YOU are in fear, doubt or resistance right now, ask yourself these questions above.
Feel into it.
Don’t be too quick to think that this is not going on for you.
If you even remotely feel that the price of moving forward / pursuing your dreams / creating more success is too high or too scary for you, this process is ABSOLUTELY going on for you underneath.
Explore and become aware of it first.
Get clear on what you think you have to choose between.
And then DECIDE you don’t have to choose.
DECIDE you can have both.
Trust that doing your soul’s work and being ALL of who you are is what you’re born for, what you’re made for, is what most fulfills you, and is ALWAYS something you can make money with, in whatever way or form YOU choose.
And no, you DON’T get guarantees, you WON’T see proof BEFORE you leap, and the way to manifest it all is NOT clear to you AT ALL.
The HOW ONLY shows up AFTER you decide to GO for it.
There’s only ONE guarantee you DO have:
If you don’t go for it, you will never feel COMPLETELY fulfilled.
You’ll always feel like something is missing, that more is possible, that you’re not fully doing what you’re supposed to be doing, and that something wants to be expressed through you that’s now trapped inside of you somewhere.
Follow your resistance to see what it’s really telling you and what you’re most deeply afraid of.
Don’t be afraid to dive into the darkest places.
Your willingness to go there shines light on it. Exposes it.
So you can make new choices, heal, and grow.
To stepping into your soul’s work FULLY, baby!
I’m doing it over and over again.
And YOU can do it, too!
© Brigitte van Tuijl
P.S.: Your inner blocks & obstacles are the ONLY thing standing between you and whatever it is you most want to experience or achieve.
Clearing those blocks is all you have to do to live your DREAMS instead of your fears.
It’s not always easy to cut through your own crap or heal your own inner turmoil, though.
RISE gives you the tools, clearings, (healing) energy, mindset & support to transform and let go of your inner crap, so it no longer holds you back from whatever it is you TRULY want to do in your business & life.
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