Ask any woman to share something she’s not good (enough) at, and she’ll blurt out an entire list without having to think about it very long.

She just KNOWS.

But if you ask her to share something she’s good at….

It takes much longer before she answers.


And when she answers, she’ll usually:

  • Feel uncomfortable talking about it, and
  • Talk about it in a way that makes whatever she’s good at, sound insignificant and small (“Well, good at, good at…other people are far better at it than I am. It’s nothing special, really…”)


I bet you have a tendency to do that too.

Because you don’t want to be arrogant, for example.

Or because you want others to like you (and women receive dozens of messages that others mainly like you when you’re not too powerful, not too visible, not too ambitious and not too confident).


Don’t get me wrong: it’s not a bad thing to be aware of what you’re not good at or don’t know (yet).

Absolutely not. That’s simply self-knowledge and a neutral observation.


BUT. Self-knowledge ALSO requires you to be clear on what you’re GOOD at.

This doesn’t mean you have to blow your talents out of proportion or become a bragging asshole.


You don’t have to make yourself BIGGER than you are – but don’t make yourself SMALLER either!!!


And making yourself smaller is what most women do.


And that’s a serious obstacle in your business, because it makes it harder to:

  • Make yourself visible, and market & promote your business.
  • Take a stand for what you truly want (so you settle for what you think you can get or feel worthy of);
  • Charge good prices for your products, programs, and services (so you either struggle to make ends meet or work waaaaayyyyy to hard for the money you receive in return);
  • Own the value you have to offer (and if you don’t know & own that, it is so much harder to confidently sell your products & services);
  • Believe you can get what you want (IF you even ALLOW yourself to get what you want….’cause feeling small often also leads to feeling unworthy and not good enough to receive…)



Not to mention that your power and strength diminish in general when you mainly focus on what you think you lack or aren’t not good at.

So get back into your power by acknowledging what you’re good at -WITHOUT making it smaller.


Start by answering this question:

What are 15 things that you’re good at?



I’m not kidding.


It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to answer it.

It doesn’t matter if others agree with you or not.

You don’t have to be able to scientifically PROVE that you are indeed good at it.

And don’t compare what you’re good at to others, either – how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ others are at something, says NOTHING about your talents & strengths.


Answering this question is about shifting your perspective on yourself, balancing out your self-knowledge, and reclaiming your power.

Because most women make themselves smaller.

And that makes it so much harder to create the business & life you love and TRULY desire.


Write down what you’re good at in positive terms – without making it smaller.

Keep writing until you have a list of AT LEAST 15 things.

More is OK, too 😉

To owning what you’re good at & feeling good enough just the way you are!


© Brigitte van Tuijl


P.S.: Not being clear on or owning your strengths is one way women keep themselves small.  

There are more ways women keep themselves small & give their power away (often without even realizing it). 

Which is a shame and a waste.

For yourself, because it doesn’t feel good to feel powerless & small or to feel like you’re not living up to your potential.

And for others, too – because no one benefits if you don’t fully share your gifts through your business.

That’s why this April in RISE, my online membership program for women entrepreneurs, is all about reclaiming and owning your power.  

RISE gives you the tools, clearings, (healing) energy, mindset & support to transform and let go of your inner crap, so it no longer holds you back from whatever it is you TRULY want to do in your business & life. 

You can read all about & sign up for it here. 

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