She talked about how it was hard for her to really enjoy or be happy with that Oscar: since the moment she won it, she was kind of waiting for something bad to happen next.
She was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
(And when she found out some weeks after winning it that her then-husband had been cheating on her for a long time, she was actually kind of relieved: the shoe had dropped, and she could relax again.)
And I remember this story, because it’s something most of us do:
When something really good happens, it can make you feel uneasy:
Is this for real?! Can something THIS good truly happen to me?
Ohoh…let’s hope nothing bad happens now to even this good thing out.
And let’s not get TOO attached to it, in case I lose it again.
But that hurts you in two different ways:
#1: What you focus on expands, and what you expect to happen, often does.
If you’re waiting for something bad to happen, it can dominate your thoughts completely.
You’re constantly looking for signs of trouble.
You have a tendency to notice ‘bad’ things first and foremost.
You miss or dismiss other good things happening to you (‘cause God forbid: if it gets any better, the bad thing will get even worse, too!)
And until that ‘bad’ thing you’re expecting to happen DOES happen –
(…and then you say “See! I KNEW this wouldn’t last!” which only reinforces your belief that yes, all good things apparently MUST be followed by something bad, as a general rule, or a law of nature, so it’s a good thing to expect bad things to happen, just to be on the safe side…)
you feel bad and uneasy.
Which is the second way this waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop-thing hurts you:
#2 It makes you feel bad.
You can’t fully enjoy your win, because you’re waiting for something bad to happen.
And the more you enjoy your win, the sooner this bad thing comes.
As if your happiness is a giant lighthouse, sending out beams of radiant light that attracts bad stuff, just like a light bulb attracts mosquitoes & moths.
So you dim your happiness, your light, hoping the ‘bad’ won’t see it and pass you by this time.
This makes you uncomfortable and even stops you from going for your deepest dreams & desires, because hey: what if they come true?!
And then something bad happens?
Best not go there.
Too scary, too uneasy, and too uncomfortable.
It’s best to not get it so you can’t lose it again either.
Better safe than sorry, yes?
Why would you want to live that way?
And, more importantly:
NONE OF THIS IS A ‘NATURAL LAW’ OR A ‘UNIVERSAL TRUTH’.
It’s just a belief.
It’s just a story.
And you can CHANGE that story.
For every person who had something bad happen after something good happened, there’s another person who had something even BETTER happen after something good happened.
But you don’t SEE that because you don’t LOOK for it.
You can change the stories you tell yourself.
You can change your beliefs.
You can change your perspective & the meaning you give to what happens in your life.
Start doing that now.
Rewrite your story.
Replace your old beliefs by new ones that make you feel better.
Come up with your own new belief(s), or pick one of these:
- The better it gets, the better it gets.
- Life always happens FOR me (even when I can’t see or feel it at first).
- There’s no limit to how good I can feel.
- There’s no limit to the amount of joy I can experience.
- No matter how good it is, it can always get better!
Start expecting more good, and more good will show up.
Because you focus on it, you notice it, and, of course, you then gratefully and gracefully accept it 🙂
No matter how good something already is, you never know how much better it can get.
Get curious about how this might unfold for you, and enjoy!
[clickToTweet tweet=”No matter how good things already are, they can always get better!” quote=”No matter how good things already are, they can always get better!” theme=”style3″]
© Brigitte van Tuijl
P.S.: Looking for what’s wrong or having trouble expecting things to work out (let alone trusting that it will…) doesn’t only make you feel bad and restless: it also makes it harder to GO for your dreams & desires with joy and open curiosity.
These and other inner blocks & obstacles are the ONLY thing standing between you and whatever it is you most want to experience or achieve.
Clearing those blocks is all you have to do to live your DREAMS instead of your fears.
It’s not always easy to cut through your own crap or heal your own inner turmoil, though.
RISE gives you the tools, clearings, (healing) energy, mindset & support to transform and let go of your inner crap, so it no longer holds you back from whatever it is you TRULY want to do in your business & life.