I recently wrote a blog titled Why They Made It And You Didn’t. 

In it I talk about comparisonitis: 

Comparing yourself to others, and then asking yourself why THEY already accomplished something YOU are still struggling with.

And I describe HOW they acomplished that, and how YOU can do that, too.

 

So that’s comforting: after reading that blog you know what to do to shift from getting there to being there.

From wanting it to having it.

 

But, as always, there’s something going on underneath the surface of comparisonitis that’s important to understand and explore.

Or else you’ll continue to compare yourself to others who have something you don’t, and you’ll keep hurting yourself in the process.

(And with billions of people walking around on this planet, there will ALWAYS be someone who has something you don’t!)

 

Comparing yourself to others has, of course, NOTHING to do with the other person.

It ONLY has to do with you.

And with everything you think you lack, fear or doubt when it comes to your own success and getting the things you want out of life.

 

 

What comparisonitis is REALLY about is this:

 

It’s about you not accepting where you are right now – you feel you should have already accomplished more. Experienced more. DONE more with your business and your life.

It’s about desires you’ve buried and aren’t acting on – and it hurts to be confronted with someone who achieved something that you’re denying yourself.

It’s about the fear that you’ll NEVER get what you so deeply crave – because you’re afraid you’re not good enough, not worthy enough, or simply not enough, period.

It’s about being scared there is no room for you, no space for your success, no place for you in this world, and no room for your business to grow amongst all your competitors.

It’s about fearing that you’ll lose it all again once you finally have it.

It’s about thinking there’s only so much success, money, joy and happiness to go around, and you’ll miss out on your portion.

 

It’s about fearing that who you are is not good enough.

 

It’s about you not accepting all of who you are and where you are right here, right now.

 

It’s about you being at war with yourself and your life.

 

 

You keep comparing yourself to others the same way you can’t stop picking at a scab, even though you know you should leave it alone so it can heal.

You keep hurting yourself doing it.

But it doesn’t help you move forward. It doesn’t make you feel good. And it’s not good for your self-esteem at ALL.

 

Here’s what DOES help:

 

Make peace with where you are right now.

Make peace with who you are right now.

Make peace with ALL of who you are.

Accept yourself, your quirks, and your weirdness.

Stop suppressing your fears, your shame, your guilt, your pain.

Let it flow through you.

 

Accept and stop fighting what IS.

Be kind and loving to yourself.

Stop being so harsh and judgmental of yourself and your actions.

Accept what you can’t change and have no influence over. (The past. The weather. Other people.)

Change what you CAN change and influence. (Your perspective. The meaning you give to whatever happens. The stories you tell yourself.)

 

Allow yourself to want what you want – and to receive it as well!

Determine how you want to feel, who you want to be, how you want to live, and what you want your business to contribute to.

Act accordingly.

And focus on finding the feeling(s) you most want to experience in every second of every day.

 

When you do that, EVERYTHING changes.

But only everything.

And you’ll feel sooooo much better!

 

© Brigitte van Tuijl

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