Do you ever look at someone else’s success and wonder why they made it and you didn’t?

Even though you’re:

  • younger than them, or
  • older than them;
  • more experienced than them;
  • in business much longer;
  • know SO much more about this topic;
  • more genuine;
  • and on and on and on and on than them.


Of course you sometimes do this.

Maybe you’re not comparing yourself to others in exactly this way.

Maybe you only ask yourself what the FUCK is their secret that helped them make it, while you’re still struggling on.


There’s really only ONE reason why they already made it and you haven’t.


Besides you simply being impatient


chasing after something you don’t truly want


chasing after something that’s not in full alignment with your soul


chasing after something that’s not in your highest good to receive right now or at all.


But all that aside, here’s the REAL reason:


They did the things they needed to do in order to get whatever it is they now have.

They acted despite being scared.

They were willing to take risks and big scary leaps.

They were willing to step into the unknown. 

They were willing to fail.

They were willing to succeed.

They did their inner work. 

They did their outer work. 

They dealt with their crap, whatever their crap was.


They had hard times and stressful moments and midnight stress-sweat-cries, too – but they didn’t let it define them nor stop them. 

They feared what you feared or variations on it:

That they weren’t capable, couldn’t deliver, weren’t worthy or didn’t feel safe.

They had no guarantees it would work out exactly as they wanted either.


They may not have experienced YOUR particular problem or issue or fear or past life or emotional blockage or issue with your kid or your partner.

But they sure as hell have had their OWN crap to deal with.

And if they haven’t dealt with it, they at least did not allow it to stop them.


THAT’S how they made it.

And that’s how YOU can make it, too.


So, about that thing you say you want and dream of:


  • How are you acting on it, day after day after day after day for as long as it takes?
  • How are you giving it your all, your best, your heart, your soul?
  • How are you showing up for it?
  • How willing are you to DO what it takes and to keep going, despite your fears and your doubts?
  • Are you willing to fail?
  • Are you willing to succeed?
  • Are you willing to receive it?
  • Do you allow yourself to have it?



If ANY of these questions rings any bells you know what to do:

Get out of your head and into the world.

Stop comparing yourself to others and stop looking at what it is they have that you don’t.

We each have are own unique path to ‘success’.

Whatever THAT means.


A better way or phrasing it is probably this:

We each have our own path in life.

Honor YOUR path.

Take YOUR steps.

Focus on YOUR business.

Pay attention to YOUR dreams.

Come up with YOUR OWN definition of success and what it means to you.

Come up with YOUR OWN definition of live, love, happiness and freedom, and what that means to you.


Focus on all that instead of on others.

Dream YOUR dream.

And go for it despite of your crap.


That’s the only ‘secret’ there is.

And that’s the only reason they SEEM to have made it, and you SEEM to have not….

At least not yet.


Focus on happy, on joy and on you.

And you can’t ever go wrong or miss your boat.


“The evidence of success is JOY. Period!!”




© Brigitte van Tuijl

P.S.: Comparing yourself to others has, of course, NOTHING to do with others.

It only has to do with YOU. Read what it’s really about AND how to stop hurting yourself as a result of all that comparing in this blog: How to stop comparisonitis (and why).


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