When you change, everything changes.
Including your relationships.
Often that’s not a problem.
The people around you change and grow too, and you keep resonating with each other.
Sometimes you grow apart and over time don’t see each other anymore, which is a mutual, unspoken decision – you simply don’t stay in touch.
It’s just what happens, and you’re OK with it.
And sometimes, it IS a problem when you grow apart, but you’re still in each other’s life.
You’re no longer on the same wavelength. You have less and less in common. There’s not much left to talk about. You keep rehashing the same stories you’ve told one another so often before.
The only thing that’s left is what you once had.
But right here, right now, you have nothing in common anymore.
Which isn’t necessarily a problem.
You feel it is.
When seeing or talking to them is draining, tiring, and it makes you feel bad.
When the other person is actively trying to keep you in your place (where you once were, but no longer are – because that’s not where you choose to be anymore.)
When they belittle your dreams, make fun of your goals, or make lousy comments with one aim only: to put you down and kill your desire for further growth or change.
When they project their own fears and doubts onto your new plans, trying to slow you down, because you’re going to fast for them. (Or they don’t want you going or growing to new places at all.)
When they don’t respect the changes you made and keep addressing the person you used to be, instead of accepting the person you are today.
(Keep offering you cigarettes – even though you quit months ago, for example. Or cooking you a big fat piece of meat – even though you’ve been a vegetarian for some time now. And they KNOW it.)
Or, in case it’s someone on your team: when they can’t fulfill the new needs and type of support your business needs today – you’ve outgrown their capabilities.
When it doesn’t feel good to be with them AT ALL.
When it holds you back from further growth.
When your vibes don’t match anymore, and even clash instead.
In those cases, you sometimes need to say goodbye and leave someone behind.
To a partner. A friend. Or a team member.
I’ve been there myself several times in my life.
I actively said goodbye to partners, friends, and team members.
And I’ve coached several clients through this process as well.
Because it was no longer any good for them to be around someone.
Or it no longer served their business to continue to hire someone.
And they simply had to say goodbye.
That’s something most women find very hard.
They feel overly responsible for the people around them.
They’re overly scared of hurting others.
They’re greatly concerned with what others think about them.
They fear people will get so mad at them, and then ….(yes, then what?!)
And as a result, women often rather pretend all is well than speaking their mind and saying goodbye.
But sometimes, it’s OK to leave someone behind.
Sometimes you simply MUST.
That doesn’t mean you actively set out to hurt someone.
Of course you don’t!
You can say goodbye with love, with respect, and in massive gratitude for what you once shared.
It isn’t always easy.
And yet, it sometimes has to be done.
If you’re in that situation right now, remember these two things:
- Sometimes, to love yourself means to leave someone else.
- That’s not always easy. But it’s OK.
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