I’m in a 14-day program on manifesting.

Yesterday’s homework was all about scarcity and abundance. It triggered a lot of good stuff and a big breakthrough for me. The moment I posted it in the group, I knew I had to post it on my own blog as well.

If it even only inspires one person, it’s worth sharing it.

Maybe that one person is you.

So here it is:


Most of my life, I never even knew these words.

If I look back at the mindset I had growing up, it was definitely a scarcity mindset.

Which I thought was simply ‘reality’.

Nothing lasts forever, everything dies, and all resources are scarce, right? That’s just real life.

Then, I became interested in spirituality. Read book after book after book. Started learning about mindset.

And gained a new perspective:

There WAS such a thing as abundance and scarcity.

There WAS such a thing as your mindset around that. And it DID in fact determine your results.

And then what I believed was this:

Abundance exists.

It makes sense, if you think about the universe being unlimited and no one knows where the boundaries of it are (and if there IS a boundary, what’s on the other side of it?!?)


So yes, I concluded: abundance exists.

As a metaphysical concept. But not as something ‘real’.

I kept growing, learning, working with these concepts and adapted yet another belief:

Abundance is real. Some people can tap into it or live from it or actually see it in their lives.

Alas: I am not some people.

Over time, that belief evolved as well.

I realized that I could CHOOSE abundance over scarcity.

In theory.

In reality, I kept repeating the same cycle of going up, and going down again.

Of achieving goals, and then step back again. Of reaching for something big, and always keep reaching and never feel it getting closer.

BUT overall I made lots of progress.

I got results. I grew my business. I felt great.

Still, I knew it could be easier.

If only I could let go of that scarcity mindset.

I worked on it. Worked on it. Worked on it.

Made progress.

TONS of progress.

But still….I did NOT feel the unwavering faith I saw in some people that there’s only abundance, and you can have anything you want, and holy fucking shit: you can’t just GET it, you can also KEEP it!

And…even more holy fucking shit: once you get what you want, you can even get MORE!!!

Even more mindboggling.


I wanted that.

And knew enough about manifesting by now to know that if I DECIDED to get that, I WOULD get it.

And so it was.

The universe brought me people, programs, insights, dreams, messages and guidance that helped me adopt a bigger and bigger abundance mindset.

My reality got better and better as a result. (Duh.)

But that final piece….still hadn’t fallen into place.

I was 90% there – but that’s not a 100%, right?

I choose 100%.

DECIDED I would get it. I’m not the type to settle for anything less than ALL of it.

And so it was again.

The universe bent my way and brought me everything I needed:

Experiences, people, movies, books, programs, coaches, mentors,divine downloads, intuitive insights.

Including this program. This group. Kat Loterzo and Regan Anne Hillyer. (Note: they are the coaches who created & deliver this manifesting program).

Monday, I felt massive resistance again.

But by now I know that THIS big a resistance that runs through my veins and makes me MAD and I feel SO uncomfortable that I want to rip my skin off because I can’t STAND to feel confined in this body, this skin, this little prison – is actually the sign of a BIG BREAKTHROUGH COMING THROUGH.

So I stopped fighting it. Stopped resisting it.

Surrendered to it. (Albeit with grinding teeth and a little bit of resistance still there. But mostly, surrender.)

And this moment, my diamond of truth, formed under pressure, arose to the surface.

And I realized that I’ve been living in a LIE my whole life.

The stories and situations that made me come to those conclusions and believe in a lie are not important.


  • I’ve ALWAYS been safe – even though I didn’t feel like I was as a kid.
  • I’ve ALWAYS been loved – even though I couldn’t see or feel it. It was there, I just couldn’t let it in.
  • I’ve ALWAYS been cared for and ALWAYS received everything I needed – and more.
  • I’ve ALWAYS been a part of the whole – I’ve never been alone.
  • I’ve ALWAYS mattered – even when I didn’t matter to myself.
  • The universe has ALWAYS been kind to me – it’s only always shown me and reflected back to me what I really thought of me.
  • I’ve ALWAYS created my own reality – it’s never been random, a fluke, or stupid bad luck.
  • I’ve chosen this life, this path, myself – it was never done TO me or decided FOR me.
  • I’ve ALWAYS had the choice to either stay in one reality or choose another – and I’m the one who kept choosing what I already knew.
  • I’ve ALWAYS chosen scarcity over abundance – because I could not see before that abundance and love have always been there for me, and all I had to do was allow it in.


I see that truth now.

And choose to let it in, fully.

To live it, fully.

I choose abundance.

I choose LIFE.

‘Cause in the end, that’s what abundance truly is: LIFE ITSELF.

And THAT is the TRUTH.

MY truth.




Anything resonates with you?

Want to share your own insight or a-HA! ?

Feel free to post it in the comments below. I’d love to hear it!

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