Last Friday, I hosted a Facebook Live broadcast called ‘Wine With Brigitte’ in one of my Facebook groups.

It was super fun and went on about an hour.

(Ask me a question and I keep talking. Especially when you add a glass of wine to the mix.

And when you bring up a topic that’s near to my heart? BAM! Rant ON. This blog is proof of that 😉


One of my pet peeves is being completely true to who you are. In every aspect of your business.

So OF COURSE we talked about that.

Especially when someone asked me this question:


“Do you have any advice how to help a person go from being serious with everything needing to be perfect to being the real you. I’m actually very quirky and want to have more fun. I just can’t seem to get that me to the surface.”


I LOVE questions like that. I’ll answer it here, too, in case you have a similar desire.

(Wait. What am I thinking? Of course you do! Why on earth would you want to be less real, less you, hide who you are and never feel free to be your sparkly self?!)


So here goes:

It starts with allowing yourself to be all of you.

By giving yourself permission to be who you are, make mistakes, be imperfect and flawed and quirky and brilliant.

Look at me, I said during that live broadcast.

I’m here talking to you on Facebook Live and when you do that, you’re constantly looking at your own face.

Which can make you feel self-conscious. It did for me, for half a minute or so.

I looked at my face that was all red and a bit sweaty. My hair, that was just boringly hanging down.


And I thought: damn, I wish I looked better.


These thoughts crossed my mind. And then I let them go.

Because: who cares? Yes, I’d have liked to look better. But do I REALLY care about that?


What I DO care about is connecting, heart to heart, with the women who were there.

What I care about is being ME. What I care about, is inspiring you to be true to YOU, too.


Because what the world can do without, is more fakeness.

More of the same old boring shit that everybody and their brother is crapping all over the internet 24/7 already.


Who needs that?

NO ONE. That’s who.


You have nothing to contribute if you do what everybody else is doing already.

You have nothing to contribute if you don’t add your own tone of voice, your own sparkle, your own crazy, your own message, your own thing – whatever that thing is.


We don’t need more boring.

We don’t need more fake.

We need more realness, more love, more empathy, more connection, more coming from the heart and less coming from ego.


We need more fun, more joy, more soul, more vulnerability, and more heart.


[clickToTweet tweet=”We don’t need more boring. We don’t need more fake. We need more soul, more heart, more realness, & more connection.” quote=”We don’t need more boring. We don’t need more fake. We need more soul, more heart, more realness, & more connection.” theme=”style3″]


And I’m not just talking to you when I say this.


I’m talking to myself as well!

Right now, I’m stuck on my book ‘cause I can’t get the structure just right.


Because it’s a boring structure, that comes from so badly wanting to write a ‘good’ book that my creativity and quirky side is totally cramped up.

Because when I look at my website, I still see so many places where I follow the ‘rules’ about copywriting, of what a website ‘should’ look like if you want it to convert and bring you clients.


Because when I look at the copy that’s currently on my homepage, it feels sooooo fucking boooooring.

And I know why that is.

The moment you do things in your biz that are directly related to sales and marketing, to getting clients, to making money…you get Serious. About. Business.

‘Cause you fear that when you’re not, and people don’t like it, don’t like YOU, they stay away. They don’t buy. And you end up miserable and broke and OMG…that’s the end of life as you know it.


So it’s tempting sometimes to follow the rules, even when you don’t want to.

We were all taught to follow the rules. (Women especially, I think. And women are expected to play nice, too. Jeez. Fuck playing nice, too, while we’re at it.)

It takes self-awareness to recognize where you’re not completely free and yourself yet.

It takes self-knowledge to know what triggers you to drift away from yourself, and adjust to something or someone else – if only a little.

It takes a shitload of courage and strength to STOP doing that, and totally let yourself go. In a good way 😉

And no matter how true to yourself you already are: there’s always a next level of growth. A deeper level of inner freedom.

Something new to stand up for, share, acknowledge, let go of or embrace.


So as much as I’m true to myself already, I still see areas where I can be even MORE me.

Where I can be less boring. More creative. More fun. And more free.

I give myself FULL permission to do that, to play with it, have fun with it.

You have that same permission, too. (So now all you have to do is give it to yourself!)


Because the world needs more women to shine bright, own their power, share their gifts, and be true to who they are.

Fuck fake.

Fuck boring.

And everything else that’s not really YOU.


[clickToTweet tweet=”The world needs more women who own their power, shine bright, share their gifts, and be true to who they are.” quote=”The world needs more women who own their power, shine bright, share their gifts, and be true to who they are.” theme=”style3″]


© Brigitte van Tuijl

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