Perfect Fail

I wrote the first draft of my book ‘The Art of Divine Selfishness – how to transform your life, your biz & the world by putting yourself first’ in 2011.

Since then, I:

  • Rewrote the book several times (I’m working on the fourth or fifth version right now);
  • Changed the structure at least 6 times;
  • Said I would publish it in 2013;
  • In 2014;
  • And again in 2015;
  • Thought I was NOT going to publish it at all;
  • And changed my mind on that, too.


Over the years I felt stupid for not finishing it.

What frustrated me most, was that I didn’t understand WHY I wasn’t able to finish the book.

I didn’t know what was wrong with it. Or how to fix it.

It felt like I failed more than once.

But now, I’m happy with every step of this journey.

Because other things needed my attention first:

Completely changing my business in 2012 from working as a career coach in The Netherlands only to working as a business coach globally, for example.


And because NOW I am clear on something I just couldn’t see before:

It’s not 1 book – it’s 3 books.

I was trying to figure out how to put everything I have to say about The Art of Divine Selfishness into one book.

And I could never make it work.

Because it’s not supposed to be 1 book. It’s 3 books.

(The first book is the one mentioned above, for women entrepreneurs in general.

The second one is a workbook.

And the third one is specifically aimed at female coaches, healers, and others who work directly with people.)


Now that I know this, I’m finally able to finish the book.

All three of them 😉


Here’s what I learned from this journey – and what you can learn from it, too:


#1 No matter how badly you want something, you can NEVER force it into being.

The end result will suck if you do. And it will be a painful struggle from beginning to end.

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#2 Everything has its own divine timing.

There’s only so much influence you have on any project.

Part of it is out of your hands, and you simply cannot control that.

It takes as long as it takes, whether you like it or not.

Water doesn’t boil faster when you stare at it. And grass doesn’t grow faster when you pull it. (On the contrary. You’ll kill it.)

EVERY creation has a timing of its own.

Sometimes things manifest sooner than expected. Sometimes they manifest right on your schedule.

And sometimes it takes sooooooo much longer than you’d like it to take.


#3 Always trust your intuition and yourself.

How do you know when it’s time to do what?

How do you work WITH the divine timing of any creation or project, instead of against it?

Simple: listen to your intuition. It always tells you what to do next.

If that means you miss a deadline: so be it.

If that means you let yourself (or maybe even others) down: so be it.

If that means you don’t understand what’s going on and it drives you bonkers: so be it.

Easy? No.

Worth it? Always.


I know now that I never failed – even though I felt like I did several times.

I wasn’t ready. My business wasn’t ready. And the book wasn’t ready.

We are now 😉

So keep your eye out for these 3 books this year!


Over to you:

What are YOU trying to force into being before it, you, or your business are ready?

Where should you stop pushing, wanting, and needing something to happen?

And what requires your attention and energy instead?

Listen to your intuition and start working with the divine timing of whatever project you’re working on now.

I know it can be frustrating, but trust me: one day you’ll be grateful you did!


© 2016 Brigitte van Tuijl

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