What do taking good care of yourself, building the biz & life of your dreams, and setting yourself apart from others in your field have in common?
It all starts with not giving a shit about what others might think or expect from you.
If you want to do business in your own way, you have to screw the rules that don’t serve you.
If you want to take good care of yourself (and feel happy in general), you have to say NO sometimes.
If you want to express yourself in your business, you have to do so despite your fear that others might dislike, reject or criticize you.
It all starts with not giving a fuck.
And no, this doesn’t mean that you’re disrespectful, anti-social, or don’t give a shit about other people in general.
Of course you care.
You just don’t let others decide how you should live your life or run your business.
You decide that for yourself, regardless of what others may or may not think about that.
This is often easier said than done, though.
Here are some tips that help you not give a shit:
Women in general are brought up with the idea that it matters what people think of you, and it’s important that people like you.
And somehow, we started to internalize these recurring messages.
So the first step is to give yourself permission to stop caring so much about other people’s opinions. And to stop striving to be liked and play nice all the time.
#2 Acknowledge that you MIGHT get hurt – just don’t let that stop you.
Like most spiritual people, I believe that in the end, there’s only love and light and we’re all one, blabla etcetera.
I also know we’re souls having a human experience – and in this human reality it is also true that assholes exist. Some people are just dicks who act accordingly.
It’s important to recognize this. Don’t deny it. You may or may not come across those people – but it IS possible.
Trust you’ll be able to deal with it if and when it happens. And don’t let it stop you from doing or saying whatever you want to do or say.
(And try not to be a dick yourself, of course 🙂 )
#3 Don’t try to suppress or deny or conquer your fears.
It’s OK to feel scared. Just do whatever scares you anyway. Don’t let it stop you. Just don’t wait until your fears will be gone. You’ll be waiting a looonnngggg time.
Notice when you have a tendency to censor yourself or hold back all together. Explore: what is it you REALLY fear? Do you truly believe that this WILL happen, without a doubt? If not –> go for it. If so –> is this enough to stop you? Or are you prepared to follow your gut and your heart despite feeling shaky about it?
Questioning your fears, motives and behaviors is INCREDIBLY empowering. Fears don’t grow when you look at them: they get smaller. And sometimes they disappear all together.
When you dig deeper, this is what’s usually hiding underneath the need to be liked and fit in:
You’re afraid you’re not worthy, unlovable, and not good enough.
You question your value and your right to take up space.
Maybe you feel all of those, some of them, or a variation on these, but I can assure you something like this is going on underneath EVERY fear of being rejected or criticized.
And these underlying, deep rooted fears and doubts get triggered when someone criticizes you – or even when you IMAGINE people MIGHT criticize you.
The antidote to this is self-love and self-acceptance.
If you like (or even – gasp – LOVE yourself), you no longer need other people’s approval in order to feel good about yourself.
You feel good about yourself because you value yourself.
No one else has to (or even CAN!) do that for you.
Implement these 5 steps, and stop letting other people’s opinions and expectations determine your life’s choices.
And before you know it, this will be you: