“Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?” ~ Caroline Myss

Fear. We all know it.

Varying from being slightly nervous to waking up sweating in the middle of the night feeling paralyzed with fear.

Our fears have a huge impact on our behavior.

Some even say it determines most of our behavior. We spend a lot of time and energy trying to find a sense of safety and security by avoiding what we’re scared of. And because this happens at the unconscious level, we’re not always aware that we’re avoiding our fears.

Fear is the ONLY thing that ever holds us back from pursuing our dreams and goals with all we’ve got.

Really. It has a HUGE impact on our business and our life.

Fear itself is not the problem though.

It’s how we deal with it that holds us back: do you let it stop you, or do you act despite your fears?

There’s no need to strive for fearlessness.

Every now and then fears are actually good for you: fear can tell you when there’s real danger on your path. But mostly, fear is a pain in the ass that doesn’t help you in any way.

Thankfully it’s possible to act despite your fear – these tips help:

Tip #1: Awareness

Once you realize how much impact your fears and doubts have on you, it’s much easier to decide you won’t allow your fears to hold you back anymore.

Be honest: what impact did doubts and fears have on your business last year?

What did you want to do, but didn’t have the guts for?

How did fear keep you from doing things you know you needed to do, in the best interest of your business and yourself?

How did your fears and doubts hold you back last week?

Don’t get mad at or disappointed in yourself when you realize the impact your doubts and fears had on you.

You’re not answering these questions so you can beat yourself up, but to become aware of how much you’re restraining yourself.

Being honest about that is a tremendous help AND the first step in overcoming your fears.

Tip #2: Choose your wolf

Once you’re aware of your fear(s), it’s easy to keep thinking about it or to try to suppress it. Both options don’t work.

The option that DOES work is to shift your focus: stop thinking about what you fear, and start thinking about what you have to win and really want.

There’s a Native American legend called ‘Two Wolves’, and it goes like this:

An old Cherokee teaches his grandson about life:

“There are two wolves living inside me, and they’re always fighting. One is evil: he’s angry, greedy, arrogant, nasty, full of self-pity and resentment. The other is good: he’s filled with joy, love, compassion, and kindness. We all have these two wolves inside of us, and we all experience their fights.”

The boy asks his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

The grandfather answers: “The one you feed.”

When we’re talking about fear, the evil wolf represents fears, doubts, lack of confidence and negative thinking.

The good wolf represents hope, faith, trust, purpose, love, dreams and desires.

Which wolf wins?

The one YOU feed.


This week’s transformational action:


How do fear and doubt impact your business?

What would become possible for you if you decided to act despite your fears?

Focus on everything you have to win. Think about everything that becomes possible when your fears and doubts no longer rule your business and life. When they no longer rule YOU.

Then, consciously decide which wolf you feed. That one will win, always and forever.



© 2014 Brigitte van Tuijl



P.S. Not sure how to act despite your fears? Need help in overcoming your fears, and learning how to deal with them in a way you can use the rest of your life?

Come join me in the Freedom Circle, and learn all about the 3 F’s of overcoming your fears now and always.

AND…we’re gonna practice to! Yes, you’re gonna kick some fears in the ass next month! (It’ll be fun! We’re all in it together and yes, I’m gonna do some scary stuff myself as well. You’ll feel SOOOOO good about yourself afterwards – I promise!)

You can read all about and sign up for it here:


Sign up now – price goes up on February 1st!



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