To have and experience everything you want and need at the same time?
Most people don’t believe so.
It’s even a common saying in both English and Dutch (‘You can’t have it all’ / ‘Je kunt niet alles hebben’) and maybe in other languages as well.
This belief (or rather disbelief) is one of the major stuck points I have seen with my clients over the past 10 years.
And it has been my own major stuck point as well 😉
For me, for example, freedom is my number one value. It is the main reason I started my own business; it’s what I need and want most out of life and it’s the ultimate goal I strive for: to be completely free.
(To me this means to be free of my fears and limiting beliefs, or at least to not let them hold me back and keep me playing small.)
Every time I feel I have to choose between freedom and something else, I always choose freedom.
As long as I don’t believe for 100% that it is possible to be free and successful at the same time, I will always have to choose between them.
And when I make this choice unconsciously, this usually results in self-sabotage. (Which I’m not aware of when I’m in the middle of it, because all of this happens at the unconscious level.)
I’ve seen this same process of self-sabotage with many of my clients.
You may not recognize my example, but perhaps you believe one of these examples:
It’s not possible to be honest and rich (and as a result you cannot get rich, for as long as you choose honesty over money because you don’t believe you can have them both);
It’s not possible to make money with your mission / passion (and as a result you struggle to make ends meet in your mission driven business or you decide to find something else to earn money with – it’s not fulfilling but you need an income, right?)
You have to work really hard to become successful, and won’t have a lot of time to relax (and you don’t want your life to be all about work, you want to LIVE and enjoy yourself as well – so you forget about success because you don’t believe you can combine it with your lifestyle.)
If you feel stuck in your business, it is time to ask yourself: am I perhaps sabotaging myself because I don’t believe I can have it all?
This week’s transformational action:
- What do you think must do (that you are unable, unwilling or afraid to do) to have a successful business?
- What do you think is the cost of having a successful business? What do you think you might lose? (For example: your privacy / time to spend on other things that are important to you / your partner / friendships…)
- What’s the most important thing in your life? And do you truly, completely, without a doubt believe that you can have both that and a successful business?
Often being aware of your beliefs is all it takes to change them. By shining some light on them, they sometimes easily evaporate.
And sometimes they don’t, and takes more time. Or an expert coach who can help you with this.
© 2013 Brigitte van Tuijl