How often do you act on what you say you want?

Sounds like a simple question, right?

(Or an annoying one – depending on what got triggered the moment you read it;)

 

The reason I ask is this:

So often we SAY we want something……and that’s it. Nothing happens.

We just keep saying or wishing we want something. And we never get it, because we never do anything about it.

Hey, don’t shoot me; I’m just the messenger!

And I am guilty as charged myself, if that’s any consolation.

I’d like to be a bit more muscular, for example. Nothing Arnold Schwarzeneggerish, mind you.

 

Just something that with a bit of fantasy could pass for the beginnings of a six-pack would be nice.

(Talking about the abs, people, not beer 😉

 

But do I do something, ANYTHING, to make that happen?

Nah. When it comes to doing the actual work, I can’t be bothered.

And that’s OK. I don’t really want to have a six-pack. It’s not a deep desire, and I am not unhappy without it.

 

It gets painful when you REALLY want something and you just can’t seem to get there: you are stuck.

That’s a totally different story, I know all about it.

I’ve felt stuck more often than I can remember. It’s a lousy feeling and it totally wears you out.

 

In my 10+ years of coaching experience, I have seen that there are 3 common doubts that many people have that keep them stuck.

Maybe one of them is holding you back right now:

 

Doubt #1: I’m not sure I’m ready

This is something I often hear from people who are close to taking action to change their situation.

And then…fear strikes. All of a sudden they’re afraid of stepping into the unknown.

 

This doubt can also manifest itself in doubts like:

  • I’m not sure I have the time to change my situation, or
  • I’m not sure this is the right time for me.

 

How to turn it around:

You will NEVER feel ready. The time will NEVER feel right.

We humans are wired to keep ourselves safe.

This means we rather stick to what we know than step into something new.

 

Even when our current situation makes us unhappy.

This is a normal doubt that’s part of the process of change, and NOT a sign to stay where you are.

 

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

Napoleon Hill

 

Doubt #2: Who do I think I am to want this?

This is the doubt that surfaces when you feel drawn to something bigger.

 

When you feel called to step into a bigger mission, to reach more people, to write your book – or whatever next step is calling you right now.

Once you start dreaming bigger, your fears get triggered.

This too is part of the process of change and growth. It CAN hold you back – but it doesn’t have to.

 

How to turn it around:

Ask yourself this:

Who do you think you are to NOT want this?

Why do you think you feel called into something bigger? Why do you think this keeps coming back?

Because it’s what you’re MEANT to do.

Your deepest, recurring desires are like neon signs that guide you to your purpose.

And it’s always within your reach and your potential to fulfill it.

 

Doubt #3: What if I fail?

Or, almost as scary:

What if I succeed?

Well, you won’t know for sure until you try, don’t you?

The only thing you can be sure of, is that you are not happy with the way things are now.

 

Doing nothing will at best keep you feeling unhappy or at worst make it far worse.

You have nothing to lose when you look at it that way, right?

 

How to turn it around:

Stop focusing on what you’re afraid to lose. Start focusing on everything you stand to gain.

 

You’ve done things you were scared of dozens of times before in your life.

If you did it once, you can probably do it twice.

If you did it numerous times, you know for SURE you can do it again!

 

This week’s transformational action

 

Think about a desire that keeps coming back.

Or a situation you’re unhappy with for longer than 6 months.

Ask yourself this:

Do I REALLY want to accomplish or change this?

If so, ask yourself this:

What’s keeping me stuck?

And how can I turn that around?

If you can’t figure it out by yourself, get help. You have nothing to lose. And everything to gain!

 

 

© 2013 Brigitte van Tuijl

 

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Let me know what you think! You can post your comments below. Thanks!

 

 

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