Sometimes you know you’re sabotaging yourself.
But most of the time, you don’t.
Your mind has very clever ways to rationalize your behavior, so it looks like you make the right decisions and take the right steps – when in reality you’re sabotaging yourself.
Oh, and by the way: don’t think you never sabotage yourself.
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(Ever quit smoking and started again? Started to go to the gym every week and didn’t stick to it? Promised yourself to stop doing this or start doing that – and failed? Have a goal you’re repeatedly NOT reaching? Two words, baby: self-sabotage.)
So how do you recognize if you’re sabotaging yourself?
And how do you stop it?
Let’s start with recognizing it by taking a look at 4 common symptoms of self-sabotage:
Symptom #1: Procrastination
You know what to do. But you’re not doing it.
You keep telling yourself you’ll do it tomorrow, or next week, or when the time feels right.
But when you’re really honest with yourself….you know that NOW is the right time.
Symptom #2: Being extremely busy
You take plenty of action.
It seems like you’re doing what it takes to achieve your goals.
But are you…really?
Are you taking the actions that are directly linked to reaching your goals?
Or are you busy being busy, doing things that can either wait, don’t have to be done at all OR don’t have to be done by you?
Symptom #3: Delaying and over thinking things
You delay taking action and making important decisions, because you either feel you don’t have enough time to think it all through, or you don’t have enough information to move forward.
But you’re not actually doing anything about that. You just keep thinking about the same things over and over. You’re running circles in your mind.
Symptom #4: Making excuses
This symptom is closely related to symptom #3.
You focus on every reason you can think of that explains why you can’t move forward – instead of looking at what IS possible right now.
You justify why you’re not making progress without finding ways to break through it and move on.
Don’t worry if you recognize one of these symptoms: here are some tips to help you end your self-sabotaging behavior right now:
Tip 1: Reconnect to WHY you want this
Whenever you sabotage yourself, you come from fear. And as long as you focus on fear, you’re stuck.
Reconnect to WHY you want to achieve this goal to begin with. Why is it so important to you?
Focusing on what you DO want instead of what you DON’T want helps you move on again.
Tip 2: Keep moving
Keep taking small steps towards your goal. You don’t have to take giant leaps or overstretch yourself.
Come up with little steps you can take, and take one every day. Every step counts.
Tip 3: Take out your journal, and write
Journaling is SO incredibly powerful. It helps you tap into your intuition and find answers you didn’t know you had in you.
Start with these 2 questions:
- What am I avoiding?
- And what are all the things I can gain if I stop doing that?
Take at least 15 minutes to write down whatever comes up.
Read ‘The Big Leap’ by Gay Hendricks. A fan-tas-tic book that helps you overcome your barriers and fulfill your potential.
© 2015 Brigitte van Tuijl